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Garrison Channel fish is sad that Lightning won’t three-peat

A fish that lives in Garrison Channel behind Amalie Arena is very disappointed to learn that the Tampa Bay Lightning lost 2-1 to the Colorado Avalanche in Game 6 of the 2022 Stanley Cup Final Sunday night, ending their championship winning streak at two. “No b-b-b-b-b-b-b-boat parade?”, it asked in bubble language. “Golly. That’s sad.”…

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Lightning goal horn sounds prematurely again

Goal Horn

At last night’s NHL Eastern Conference Final game between the Tampa Bay Lightning and New York Rangers, which the Lightning won 4-1 to even the best-of-seven series at two games apiece, the goal horn went off after a shot from Lightning defenseman Jan Ruuta went wide of the net at the 14:50 mark of the…

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Fan calls for immediate release of all Russian Lightning players

F off, Russians

Steve Ipsnitch of Brandon, who has been a Tampa Bay Lightning for over three years, is demanding that the team release all players of Russian descent immediately, in response to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. “Not just released, I want them deported, right now!” he exclaimed. “Something has to be done and these Russian billionaires are…

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Andreychuk statue tired of being molested

Andreychuk statue

The statue of former Tampa Bay Lightning captain and NHL Hall of Famer Dave Andreychuk near the entrance to Amalie Arena has had enough of being touched inappropriately without consent. “Thousands of people pass by me every week and most of them are respectful and polite. They’ll stop and take pictures with me and I’m…

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