Posts Tagged ‘Tampa Bay Rays’
Red Tide Raises Rays
Following the Rays clinching the American League East Division for the second consecutive season while compiling the best regular season record in the franchise’s 23-year history, with 100 wins for the first time, many are wondering how such a thing could possibly happen, considering that the team was thought to be significantly weaker after losing…
Read MoreMan Wearing Rays Hat Surprised to Learn They Are Doing Well
While out getting drunk for his best friend’s birthday, a Tampa man was recently surprised to learn that the Tampa Bay Rays are doing well this season. “Honestly I don’t even know how I ended up owning this hat,” said Fabio Sukiyo, a 32-year-old man from Seffner. “I haven’t watched baseball in over 10 years,…
Read MoreRays outfielder offends certain Rays fans
Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Brett Phillips on and off-field antics have rankled a segment of loyal fans. “He’s obviously enjoying himself, just having the time of his life. And it’s all the time,” said longtime fan Hub Shitler of St. Petersburg. “That’s downright disrespectful to those of us who have made a tradition of being…
Read MoreQUIZ: What Tampa Bay professional sports team should I play for?
If there’s one thing this whole Olympics debacle has done, it’s reinforced the popularly held belief among many people who’ve never played sports at any meaningfully competitive level that they’d be much better at it than most of those who have. It’s too late to go to Tokyo and solve that mess but maybe you…
Read MoreNew Local Business Spotlight: We Don’t Know
Here at Tampa News Force, we love to poke fun at various local institutions, but ultimately we love the Tampa Bay Area and want nothing but unqualified success for everyone who lives in and does business in the various communities that make up this vibrant and diverse region. Except Brooksville, of course. Brooksville sucks and…
Read MoreRays nervously monitoring championship ring escalation
“Cripes, they just keep raising the damn bar with these things”, exclaimed Sternberg. “It’s not enough that they have to be totally encrusted in jewels, they have to be fidget spinners and dioramas too? How’s (Lightning owner Jeff) Vinik gonna top this Bucs ring? I don’t know but you know he will.”
Read MoreTampa Bay Lightning win third Stanley Cup; officially not cute anymore
The Tampa Bay Lightning have won the 2021 Stanley Cup, with a 1-0 win over the Montreal Canadiens in Game 5 of the Final, to win the best-of-seven series four games to one. It’s the third time in the franchise’s history being crowned champions of the National Hockey League and the sports world has decided…
Read MoreTicket scalper says he is misunderstood
Kenny Glennis of Tampa, a self-described ticket broker (more commonly known as a ‘scalper’ or ‘lowlife, bottom-feeding scumbag’), says he is tired of being perceived as a parasite with a cardboard sign standing outside of an arena who buys tickets in bulk to create scarcity and then profits by exploiting that scarcity by raising the…
Read MoreRays begin 2021 season with fewer excuses for fans to dislike them
The Tampa Bay Rays begin the 2021 season tomorrow with an afternoon game in Miami against the Marlins, coming off a successful 2020 campaign that has made it more difficult for their fans to find things to complain about. “I’ve been bitching about the Rays since they announced the original team name of ‘Devil Rays’…
Read MoreVirtual sports fan is exhausted
A cardboard cutout intended to fill seats at Tampa Bay sporting events representing a fan who can’t attend due to restrictions resulting from COVID needs a vacation from sports. “It’s been a wild ride, for sure”, said the 2′ 6″ high x 1′ 6″ wide corrugated cardboard silhouette. “In less than five months, I’ve attended…
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