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For the love of all that’s holy, VOTE!

VOTE

You know that famous quote, “All it takes for evil to be a thing is for good people to not do anything and you hardly ever do anything, so how about you get off your ass for a change and fucking do something” or however it goes? Yeah, that. Tomorrow, assuming you didn’t already vote…

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Top 5 Places In Tampa Bay To Be Buried Alive

Buried

For many people, being buried alive is their most terrifying nightmare, a fate worse than death that eventually results in death. We wouldn’t wish that on anyone, just like how no one would wish it on themselves. But hey, it could happen to any of us and if it did, wouldn’t it be a good…

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This week’s public school lunch menus

LunchLadies

As a public service to the millions of parents to school-age children in the Tampa Bay region who read our site every single day, Tampa News Force proudly presents what the kids will be eating for lunch at school this week. You know, for planning purposes. Enjoy! CITRUS COUNTY Monday, October 3: Tater Thots Tuesday,…

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How to help Tom Brady

Help Brady

To ensure Tom Brady has the best opportunity to win a Super Bowl again in Tampa, follow these tips to help him live the most productive and comfortable life possible. Do not drive on the road between 4-9 AM Tom likes early morning workouts, and to guarantee he doesn’t have to deal with any traffic,…

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Top Five Economy Lodging Options In Tampa

Motel Fun

Between Governor Ron DeSantis and his DeSciples declaring Disneyworld off limits and people coming here to live and not just visit, tourists are becoming an endangered species in the state of Florida. Add to that an economy ravaged by inflation, and it’s easy to see that the state’s leading industry is in serious trouble. With…

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7′ man rejected by Tampa Bay panhandler community

Seven footer

Dennis Smeeks, a 7′ tall homeless man currently in Tampa, is not being accepted by local panhandlers due to his height. “Dolph or Dirk or whatever his name needs to get the hell out of here and go back to the NBA where he belongs,” said veteran panhandler Johnny America. “He has no business out…

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Tampa Police Announce Gasparilla 2022 Will be 100% Crime Free

NoCrimeYbor

The Tampa Police Department announced today that this year’s Gasparilla invasion will be absolutely free of all crimes. An estimated 418,344 people are expected to descend upon Bayshore Boulevard for a day of debauchery and pillaging. “Our officers are more than prepared to control that,” said Tampa Police Chief Debby Littles. “Thanks to recent advancements…

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Top Five Tricks and Treats in Tampa Bay

Halloween

OooOOoooOOOooh! It’s Spooky Season here in Tampa Bay. That means it’s time to get ready for Halloween! Here to help you get started is a list of the Top Five Tricks and Treats in Tampa Bay! But wait… there are only five things listed. Are these the Tricks or the Treats? Well, I guess that…

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