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Future news: Lightning win 65th consecutive Stanley Cup

Future Man

A man claiming to be from the future is claiming that the Lightning win 65 straight Stanley Cups in the coming years. Jedidiah Bunchkin, a professional time traveler, showed up to the Tampa News Force offices and said that the Lightning would win 65 championships in the future, and I told him that we lost…

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Who has bigger whores: Tampa or St. Pete?

Whores

The eternal question of which location has more women willing to engage in immediate sexual activity has plagued the minds of Tampa citizens for centuries, however with careful consideration and study, we can learn definitively which side of the bridge homes more whores. To do so, we must break down each side. Tampa Tampa has…

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