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Roller rink turns out to be bloody pit of living demon teeth

Roller Skaters

What some originally thought was a discotek roller rink has actually turned out to be a living, evil, demonic pit full of razor sharp teeth, swallowing and killing anything that interacts with it. Why it was confused as a roller rink is not clear. “It doesn’t look like a roller rink, who said this was…

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Atheism rises among Tampa residents who still don’t have power

The lack of faith in God has swept a sizable amount of Tampan’s this week as Hurricane Ian has still left thousands without electricity. “There’s just no way that God would let Freddie’s family have power and not mine.” Said Walter Winston, father of 18 in Pinellas County.  “That guys a jackass, I’m a good…

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New Science Proves All Lives Don’t Matter

A millennium-long study on the value of human life out of the University of Go Hurt Yourself has released its findings, and the conclusive evidence has proven that all lives, do not in fact, matter. By measuring one’s social and financial contributions, cross-referenced with humanitarian interaction and the generality of positive and negative in the…

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