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Sweet Sixteen Ruined by IPA Release

Craft Beer

As 16-year-old Molly Johnson eagerly anticipated her Sweet Sixteen party, she never could have predicted that it would fall on the day that a nearby Tampa Heights brewery would release the highly anticipated Hopfucker Quintuple IPA. “I can’t believe this fucking shit is happening,” Molly said, tears streaming down her face. “My fucking Sweet Sixteen…

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White couple in Tampa Heights loves their African-themed bedding

Duvet set

Todd Ginfey and his live-in girlfriend Rachel Bloorb recently purchased the African American Pretty Girl Duvet Cover Set Queen Size, 3-Piece Bedding Set with Zipper Closure and Corner Ties from for their loft in Tampa Heights. “I gotta say, this ethnic blanket really helps me sleep better,” said Todd. “Because my conscience is clearer.”…

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Couple selling extremely rare real estate plot in Tampa

House for sale

Doug and Amanda Schbluth of Tampa Heights are selling their home, which happens to be the most unique house in the city: it’s the only structure in Tampa not built on top of an abandoned black cemetery. “That certainly isn’t why we bought it,” said Doug. “But it is why we’re selling it.” “We’ve always…

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Russian propaganda spotted in Tampa Heights

Russian Propaganda

A billboard in Russian has appeared on Tampa Street in Tampa Heights, just south of the intersection with Emily Avenue, heightening fears that the Russians are planning to invade Tampa and may already have operatives embedded in the area. “It appears to be a recruiting poster,” said resident Claymatia Pierce. “It probably says something like,…

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Thieves pull off daring art heist in Tampa Heights

Cafe Hey Art

Café Hey, the venerable coffee and sandwich shop on Franklin Street located right on the boundary between downtown and Tampa Heights, was recently victimized by art thieves who law enforcement officials believe used an elaborate scheme to steal valuable works displayed on the establishment’s walls. “No,” said owner Chung Choi. “We’re still easing into being…

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Local filmmaker wishes his latest masterpiece was Korean


A Tampa Bay artist who goes by the name ‘Qliquebait’ (“It’s ironic, get it? You probably don’t get it”, he says) is regretting that his latest short film is not Korean. “This Korean director has stolen my thunder”, he says. “Anybody can make the next Harry Potters, superficial feel-good movies designed to please the sheep…

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Tampa Heights to Ungentrify

Tampa Heights – Hillsborough County – Saturday 3.23.2019 After an unnecessarily heated meeting, neighborhood and city leaders agreed to ungentrify the neighborhood of Tampa Heights. “We felt bad for the people who already lived there,” says Tampa Government Gentrification Specialist, Willard Sardone. “All the açaí bowl places and craft beer bars will soon become homes…

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