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Fake news reporter celebrates 500+ stories published

500

John Jacobs, one of the head writers at Tampa News Force, is celebrating the milestone of over 500 articles published for TNF. To help him celebrate we’re going to take a look back at some of his most popular articles: Retard baby jerks itself off using its webbed toes This article was the first one…

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Tampa goes entire day without news

No News

For the first time in Tampa’s history, the city has gone a full day without any news. “Nothing happened today.” Said, Peck Bretters, Editor in Chief at Tampa News Daily.  “The phones were quiet, nobody walked through the door, it was just nothing.” Bretters sighed. “Well at least I get a story out of it!”…

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Coveting thy neighbor actually good for your health

Covet

Hey! Doing that thing you’re not supposed to do is actually good for you. Yea, it’s true. You know how you compare yourself to other people are you get upset you’re not as successful as them? That’s good! Keep doing it! When you throw yourself into tantric tantrums, shattering your chakras and sending them in…

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Scientists predict by 2030 all news will be fake

NewNews

Based off current trends, scientists have made a prediction that by the year 2030, all news will be considered fake in one way or another. “Fake in the sense that, it will revolve around some trivial topic like a celebrity or a food recipe and not actually be relevant to society.” Said Dennis Bird, lead…

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Tom Brady gets “City Boys” tattoo

City Boy

Quarterback for the Buccaneers, Tom Brady, has some new ink. The QB was spotted during a recent practice sporting a fresh “City Boys” tattoo, which appears on his left tricep.  Presumably celebrating his new marital status, Brady is signifying that it’s “city boys’ time to shine.” Teammate, Klayshus Cash, 2nd-string Tight Wider, claims that Tom…

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Crunchwrap Supreme Court, Taco Bell launches own judiciary system

Sovereign Taco Bell

If you frequent Taco Bell you may be deemed legally, Doritos Locos, after the franchise has declared all 7,235 of its locations as sovereign nations with their own sets of laws and regulations. Sparked by citizens rising want for abortions, Taco Bell realized that if it operated as its own country, it would be able…

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Guy forgets headline, publishes article anyway

Lost Headline

I also forgot the article too. My boss is going to have his way with me when he sees this. But screw it, I don’t care anymore. What’s he going to do, fire me? He has nobody else! Literally! I look up and down my hallway and every office has cleared out! It’s me, the…

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Roller rink turns out to be bloody pit of living demon teeth

Roller Skaters

What some originally thought was a discotek roller rink has actually turned out to be a living, evil, demonic pit full of razor sharp teeth, swallowing and killing anything that interacts with it. Why it was confused as a roller rink is not clear. “It doesn’t look like a roller rink, who said this was…

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Future news: Lightning win 65th consecutive Stanley Cup

Future Man

A man claiming to be from the future is claiming that the Lightning win 65 straight Stanley Cups in the coming years. Jedidiah Bunchkin, a professional time traveler, showed up to the Tampa News Force offices and said that the Lightning would win 65 championships in the future, and I told him that we lost…

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