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Rays players quit team because “Ray rhymes with gay”


5 Rays players have quit after realizing that the word “Ray” rhymes with “gay.” Jason Wedlock, the 5th baseman and chosen speaker for the group claimed, “We never thought of it.” “As we were laughing about how dumb those rainbow Rays patches on the jerseys were, and how Jews killed our savior, we had a…

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Tampa sells soul for new Rays stadium

Tampa sells its soul for new stadium

In a wildly fictional series of events, the city of Tampa collectively sold their souls in exchange for a new state-of-the-art Rays stadium, to be built by 2028, centrally located between downtown and Ybor. Through witchcraft and a combination of dark magic spells, local government officials were able to conjure a portal to the underworld,…

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Rays playoffs to be held in Montreal

Rays to hold playoff games in Montreal

As part of the organizations “fuck the fans” program, the Rays will be holding their postseason games in a stadium in Montreal which is usually being occupied by the West Cooperstown High Hogs, a high school team which is loaning their facilities to the major league baseball team which is currently in no mans land…

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Tampa Business Owner Digs Through Garage for Old Rays Memorabilia

Tampa Business Owner Finds Old Rays Sweatshirt

In an attempt to congratulate the Tampa Bay Rays on their playoff achievement, local business owner Manny Plaqueiao spent much of his weekend digging through his garage looking for his old Rays memorabilia to hang up around his place of business. “I went to one game this year when they had the $2 tickets,” said…

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Tampa Rays become first full-time road team

Rays become first full-time road team with no real home stadium

Tropicana Field – Pinellas County – Wednesday, 6.26.19 In a major league baseball first, the Tampa Bay rays will become the first full-time traveling team, making every game a home game in a Harlem Globetrotters fashion. The team will still officially remain the “Tampa Rays,” however when they’re in other cities they will adapt that…

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Tampa Bay Rays Sign 10,000 Homeless People to Boost Attendance

Tropicana Field – Pinellas County – Thursday 4.4.2019 In a stunning move by the Tampa Bay Rays, General Manager and Vice President of Baseball Operations, Erik Neander has signed 10,000 homeless people to three year contracts in order to give the illusion of more fans. “This is a huge day for our organization. Obviously the…

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