Posts Tagged ‘Tampa’
Office manager’s duties comprised almost entirely of administrating break room
Jeanene Rabbitowitz of Tampa is the office manager for Company Inc, a large business company in downtown Tampa, but is mostly responsible for writing memos posted to the refrigerator in the office’s break room. “I don’t know what else she does,” said Roger Kern, an employee. “If I need pens or post-it notes I just…
Read MoreGreatest Places in Tampa
TIME magazine has declared Tampa as one of the World’s Greatest Places, so today we are counting down what makes Tampa so great. 5. I-275 This highway connects Tampa to all of the greatest places. Every exit on I-275 is an adventure into a magical world in one of the greatest places on Earth. 4.…
Read MoreSuper-talented baby creeps out parents
Little Amy Pleebler, an exceptionally gifted musical prodigy at two years old, is intimidating her parents, Bob and Wendy. “She sings like a perfect angel and even plays the piano a little bit. She knows, like, chord progressions and shit,” said Wendy. “How? How?!?” “It’s just so weird the way she’s good at stuff”, Wendy…
Read MoreTampa teenager wishes he had been old enough to bully Prince
Chamberlain High School senior Corey Chuggler is looking back on his lengthy bullying career with few regrets but with one notable exception. “I wish I’d had the opportunity to bully Prince,” he said. “That would have been a real accomplishment.” Chuggler explained, “He was of small stature, he dressed differently, he was far more talented…
Read MoreTampa man enjoys “The Final Countdown” unironically
Wilbur Bruceforce of Tampa has discovered a song from the 1980’s that he really likes; “The Final Countdown” by the band Europe from their 1986 album of the same name. “I found it by accident on Spotify. I don’t know, it’s just a good song,” he said. “It’s upbeat, it’s got that ’80s vibe. It…
Read MoreTampa woman claims to “hate” Girl Scout cookies
A woman in Tampa has taken an extremely rare and unpopular stance on one of America’s most beloved traditional institutions: Girl Scout Cookies. “I hate those things,” said Misty Ocean, a fax machine operator at FaxPro, a company that faxes stuff. “Especially Thin Mints,” she said, doubling down for some dumb, unnecessary reason. Asked why…
Read MoreTampa News Force 2023 Guide to Tampa’s Municipal Election
Tuesday, March 7, 2023 is Tampa’s Municipal Election. This election will secure jobs for City Council members and the Mayor, as well as provide residents a chance to vote on amendments to Tampa’s Charter which means something, I guess. Only 20% of eligible voters participated in the previous 2019 municipal election, so if you don’t…
Read MoreTampa man attends magic show on purpose
Michael Manda of Tampa recently went to a magic show in St. Petersburg with the full intention of doing exactly that. “Of course I did,” he said. “I love magic so, so much!” He was driving through St. Pete, taking a sightseeing tour with his wife and mother-in-law when he came across Zubrick Magic Theatre…
Read MoreTampa International Airport expanding yet again
In light of recent reports that indicate that Chinese spy balloons flying over the continental United States are a more common occurrence than previously believed, Tampa International Airport is taking steps to accommodate the additional air traffic. “It’s really more of a safety concern than anything else,” said airport spokesperson Eleanor Nipplemyer. “Apparently there’s a…
Read MoreLocal film to get dark-and-gritty reboot
“Plane Train,” the beloved 2018 film produced by Tampa News that was featured at the Dunedin International Film Festival, is being rebooted by Warner Brothers Studios with a different, more violent storyline and different, more violent movie stars. “It’s time,” said James Cameron, the director attached to the project. The original “Plane Train” was a…
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