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USF loses accreditation after live bull incident

The University of South Florida has lost its accreditation after an accident involving a live bull took place on their campus during school spirit week. A live 500-pound Cuban bull was released into the Ronald M. Donald cafeteria on Tuesday, which wreaked havoc and caused millions of dollars in damage. It went on a rampage…

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Temple Terrace youth promotes demonstrably false theory about source of fudge production to younger sibling

Boys being boys

Cayden Kizzler, a 7-year-old in Temple Terrace is the unfortunate victim of a malicious misinformation campaign by his 14-year-old brother Chet. Temple Terrace public health authorities were quick to respond, issuing the following statement: “Around the corner, aka your butthole, is NOT, in fact, where fudge is made. DO NOT under any condition eat ANY…

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Temple Terrace woman’s neighbors somehow still setting off fireworks


Jennifer Flambert of Temple Terrace can’t believe that her neighbors are still setting off fireworks, almost two weeks after the 4th of July holiday. “How? How?!?”, she said. “Why? Why?!?” The amateur pyrotechnic exhibitions have been a nightly occurrence since a couple of days prior to the Independence Day weekend, which was on a Sunday…

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Uber Eats driver is most trusted healthcare professional in Tampa Bay

A recent poll of consumer satisfaction trends indicates that Ryan Milger, a delivery driver for Uber Eats, is considered the most trustworthy healthcare professional in the Tampa Bay region. “You can’t trust doctors and nurses these days,” says Beverly Rimsworth of Dunedin. “Doctors make money from people being classified as being sick. Food delivery drivers…

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