Posts Tagged ‘Trump 2020’
Trump Declares Victory in Florida, Nation
It‘s Election Day, November 3 2020, and it’s the culmination of one of the most important elections in American History. The race features incumbent President Donald Trump vs. the Democratic nominee for President Joe Biden in a tight contest for the White House. A record number of Americans have already voted, with millions more planning…
Read MoreEarly voter suddenly remembers she’s undecided
Carol Wish-Washer of Temple Terrace was very pleased with herself for being one of many people to take advantage of the opportunity to cast her vote in this year’s election, until she realized that she hasn’t determined who she wants to be the President of the United States yet. “My God. What have I done?!?”,…
Read MoreFinal Presidential Debate Will Happen Tonight
Here’s what to look for, or avoid, depending on your level of tolerance for what happens in these things…
Read MorePresident Trump Accidentally Trips on Mushrooms in St. Petersburg
President Trump took a brief lunch break at a pop up gluten free and raw vegan biscuit stand last week, after holding an embarrassing rally in St. Petersburg, Florida. The owner of the stand is Pimento Teaspoon, a Portland transplant, who moved to Florida to find himself after tripping on acid this one time. President…
Read MoreDeSantis cleans out governors office in anticipation of being fired by President Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis spent this morning packing up and removing a box of personal effects from his office at the state capitol building in Tallahassee, following remarks by President Donald Trump at a campaign stop in Ocala yesterday. During the rally, Trump told the crowd, “He’s done a great job and he’s been my…
Read MoreHurricane Laura: New Entrant to 2020 Presidential Election, Running in Hurricane Party
In an unprecedented move, the Category Four hurricane working its way up the Gulf of Mexico, Hurricane Laura, has filed the necessary paperwork to be registered as a third-party candidate for the 2020 U.S. presidential election. Due to beginning her whirlwind tour in the U.S. territory of Puerto Rico, Hurricane Laura is a natural born…
Read MoreTrump demands absentee voting done by carrier pigeon
With paranoid concerns that voting by mail could lead to voter fraud or allow foreign governments the ability to influence the upcoming election due to ballots being printed overseas, President Trump announced that he has removed the mail-in ballot all together, replacing it with what he claims to be the more secure option; carrier pigeons.…
Read MoreTrump Threatens Using Military on Citizens to Curb Out of Control Voting
“We have to dominate these people,” Trump said. “Otherwise, they’ll think you’re weak and they’ll all turn out to vote. They’ll even try to vote by mail! We have to stop them by any means necessary. ‘By any means necessary.’ Hey, I just made up a cool phrase!”
Read MoreFlorida Man Donates Stimulus Money to Trump Campaign
Many people across the United States received their COVID-19 stimulus package money today and one man in Florida is paying it forward in an attempt to win an autographed hat signed by President Trump himself. “I’ve been getting hundreds of emails a day from the Trump campaign telling me they are disappointed I haven’t donated…
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