You’ve probably been hearing a lot lately about something called “monkeypox” as the next big thing you need to be afraid of. Monkeypox is a rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus. Monkeypox virus belongs to the Orthopoxvirus genus in the family Poxviridae. What it also is, is something you don’t really need to worry about very much. Here are five good reasons why…
- It’s named after monkeys – And monkeys are adorable! They do human-like things and make funny faces when they get into mischief. Who has ever been anything but charmed and delighted by the antics of Nature’s Lil’ Clowns?
- COVID – Remember that whole con job? I mean, aside from the 6.5 million people who caught it and the 76,000 who died from it in Florida alone. Otherwise, total scam.
- Monkeys! – Sorry, I’m really fixated on the “monkey” aspect. I can’t help it. They’re so cute and funny! I wish I had a pet monkey.
- Nobody you know has it – If you ever need a valid reason to not worry about something, the fact that it doesn’t directly impact you in any way whatsoever at the moment is very hard to beat. (Sincere apologies to anybody who knows someone who has it, but this article isn’t for you)
- You might turn into a monkey – At this point, very little is known about this disease, at least by me, because I didn’t bother to Google it before I wrote this. So with the effects still largely unknown (again, by me), there’s no way to guess what will happen to people who get it and therefor, turning into an actual monkey can’t be ruled out… and that would be awesome! If you get monkeypox and find yourself turning into a monkey, let me know. I will make you my pet. I’ll re-name you ChiChi, dress you in a tiny sailor suit (Ha ha! As if a monkey could captain a boat!) and let you live in a cage in my house, where you can eat bananas every day if you want.