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Top 5 Places In Tampa Bay To Be Buried Alive


For many people, being buried alive is their most terrifying nightmare, a fate worse than death that eventually results in death. We wouldn’t wish that on anyone, just like how no one would wish it on themselves. But hey, it could happen to any of us and if it did, wouldn’t it be a good idea to have a preference for where it happens? It sure would! With that in mind, here’s our suggestions for the Top 5 Places In Tampa Bay To Be Buried Alive.

1. 7th Avenue, Ybor City

Tampa’s vibrant party spot, teeming with nightlife. This might be your best shot at getting someone’s attention so they can dig you up and save you. The problem there is most people aren’t looking down and those who are, are probably too incapacitated to help themselves, let alone you.

Buried Alive
7th Avenue, Ybor City

2. Siesta Key Beach, Sarasota

Pristine, sugar white sand that’s soft and cool to the touch. Maybe this wouldn’t even be bad at all. You know what they say, “Life’s A Beach”!

Siesta Key Beach

3. Busch Gardens, Tampa

The world-famous 335-acre African-themed theme park and wildlife exhibit is probably the only place in Florida where you could be dug up and eaten by a giraffe, making this a dream and a nightmare for someone like Tampa Bay comedian JJ Curry.

Busch Gardens

4. Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg

Take you out to the ball game
Plant you down in the ground
Put you under home plate or second base
You will disappear without a trace

Tropicana Field

5. FrankCrum Building, Clearwater

A startling number of buildings have been built on top of abandoned Black cemeteries. Like, way more than could be dismissed by saying, “What? A Black cemetery? Here?? Oops! That’s crazy! How could we have known?” The FrankCrum Building in Clearwater is the latest one discovered… so far. At this point, if you’re in the Tampa Bay Area and you’re in a building, there’s at least a possibility that there’s an abandoned Black cemetery under you. The good news for you is if you find yourself buried alive under one of these places, you’re pretty much already in a cemetery. What a time saver!

The Frank Crum Building at 100 S. Missouri Ave. in Clearwater
Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54