OooOOoooOOOooh! It’s Spooky Season here in Tampa Bay. That means it’s time to get ready for Halloween! Here to help you get started is a list of the Top Five Tricks and Treats in Tampa Bay!
But wait… there are only five things listed. Are these the Tricks or the Treats? Well, I guess that depends on your individual circumstances, doesn’t it? These could be Tricks or they could be Treats or they could be both, or neither, all depending on what’s going on with you. This list, like everything else, is informed to a large extent by your own personal perspective. Open your mind, man!
The traditional Cuban sandwich we’ve all come to know and love is made with ham, roasted pork, Swiss cheese, pickles, mustard, and sometimes salami on Cuban bread and pressed. That is, 11 months out of the year. But during Spooky Season, it’s made with ham, roasted pork, Swiss cheese, pickles, mustard, and a layer of crushed-up candy corn on Cuban bread and pressed.
BOBBING FOR STRIPPERS
Gather ’round a tub of water with your pals, stick your face into the water and see if you can grab a stripper with your teeth and pull her out. If so, you get to keep her! But unfortunately, if so, you have to keep her.
TAKE A HEY RIDE
Hop in the back of someone’s pick-up truck and make them drive you around the block at 1540 N. Franklin Street in Tampa Heights, where Café Hey is located. The café is actually part of a much larger building that also houses the Oceanic Market. It has murals on all four sides so it’s quite scenic. Also, Tampa Street, on the building’s west side, is a one-way, southbound street and East Kay Street to the south is one-way, going west. If you go the wrong way on those streets, it turns into a true thrill ride!
Spooky season is also sexy season and everybody gets involved, even organizations you normally wouldn’t associate with that. Does belonging to a sex cult sound kind of fun? Maybe. Does the Church of Scientology qualify as a sex cult? I guess, assuming Scientologists have sex, and why wouldn’t they? Except, oh yeah, I forgot the Church of Scientology is not a cult. Right. Sure it isn’t. Okay.
It seems like there’s a damned Hooters in every neighborhood, but did you know there is an actual damned Hooters in Holiday? A Hooters of the damned, if you will. It’s staffed entirely by hordes of the living dead! Okay, it’s really just an abandoned self-service car wash and a whole bunch of crackheads hang out there. But it’s near a Wawa and sometimes you can find a Hooters near a Wawa.