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Uber Eats driver is most trusted healthcare professional in Tampa Bay

A recent poll of consumer satisfaction trends indicates that Ryan Milger, a delivery driver for Uber Eats, is considered the most trustworthy healthcare professional in the Tampa Bay region.

“You can’t trust doctors and nurses these days,” says Beverly Rimsworth of Dunedin. “Doctors make money from people being classified as being sick. Food delivery drivers make money from people being classified as being hungry. If anything, I’m sick of being hungry. Follow the money. Wake up, sheeple.”

Another customer, Gary Dinowitz of Oldsmar says, “Ryan delivered my dinner the other night and sure, he brought straight fries instead of curly, but at least he’s never been the subject of an expose documentary on YouTube. I’m not saying that documentary is definitive but it’s something to think about. Speaking of thinking about stuff, the fries thing might have been my fault.”

“Did you know every time a doctor diagnoses someone with the Coronavirus, they get a free jet ski?” Offered Ronny Biscbomp, who I didn’t even ask. “Check out my podcast!”

“I live next door to a nurse and sometimes when she gets up really early to work a 12-hour shift at Tampa General, she steals my newspaper,” says Betty Flimmm of Temple Terrace. “What is she trying to hide?”

Not everyone is on board with granting a part-time delivery driver more credibility than a combined community of college educated physicians.

“Come on, folks. YouTube videos? We have to be smart about this,” says Dennis Steiner of Brandon. “I placed an Uber Eats order last week and Ryan totally forgot the extra mango vinaigrette dressing I asked for. I’m not trusting that son of a bitch with my mom’s health care.”

Another person who doesn’t agree that Ryan should be so exalted is Ryan himself. “This is Just a part-time job, which I’m doing because I’m going to school to become a nurse, ironically.”

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54

1 Comment

  1. Avatar From the Future on May 10, 2020 at 5:02 am

    in the future no one will have the capacity to read and everyone will get all of their information from videos of people rambling and facebook. this will literally be the only thing people do all day.