Where NOT to Go in Downtown Tampa
Downtown Tampa has changed a lot over the last few years. It’s gone from somewhere that the lawyers and bankers who worked there couldn’t wait to leave behind at 5pm every weekday and get to their homes in Carrollwood to a place that people want to visit on nights and weekends!
Still, there are areas you should avoid. Here are some of them…
The Old Greyhound Bus Station – This shut down a couple years ago and ever since then, Tampa doesn’t have a proper Greyhound Bus Station. Can you believe it? There’s a spot not far from here where you can catch a Greyhound bus but it’s not a full-on bus station with a waiting room, vending machines, filthy and dangerous restrooms and other standard bus station amenities. It’s kind of embarrassing that we don’t have a dedicated, full-service facility for the shipping and receiving of sullen drifters. I heard a rumor that somebody is thinking about making the building into a nightclub. If that’s true, I hope they consider making it Greyhound bus-themed.
This vacant lot between Cass, Tyler, Marion and Morgan – There’s nothing here. It’s a vacant lot. Why would you want to go here? You’d have to climb over a chainlink fence to get in there to pee and you’d still be fully visible to anybody driving by on all four of the streets bordering it.
Burger King – This has got to be the worst Burger King franchise in the whole company. I haven’t been to every Burger King so I don’t know if that’s a fact but it wouldn’t surprise me because this place sucks on all levels. I tried to order coffee here at 3pm on a weekday once and the manager acted like that was the most absurd thing anybody could ever ask for in the entire fast food industry universe. As if wanting coffee so badly that I was willing to get it from a Burger King wasn’t bad enough, the guy running the Burger King acted like I was a lunatic or something. What an asshole. I hope he sees this and it makes him mad. He won’t be able to spit in my food or otherwise be rude to me because I’ll never go there again, so ha ha, I win. Seriously, even if you like Burger King for some reason, you won’t like this one.
The apartment or office or whatever on top of the old Greyhound Bus Station – What purpose it served when the bus station was open is kind of an intriguing question. It might be kind of interesting to see what the heck is up there, but on the other hand, whatever that might be is probably gross.
This Federal Building – You don’t want to be caught outside of this building, taking pictures. Just trust me on this one.
Segregated Lunch Counter – Once upon a time, this was a Woolworth’s and it had a lunch counter that wouldn’t allow Black people to eat there. Now it’s closed and nobody can eat there. Thanks, Biden.
That same vacant lot – This is the same lot I told you about before. It’s pretty weird that you’re so fixated on it. Find somewhere else to pee. What is with you and your weird obsessions?
