5 ideas you should not act on

We all have ideas, I guess. Some you should act upon, and others you should not. Here are 5 ideas you should never act on.

Hurt people

Sometimes your brain will say “Hey, maybe I should hurt that person.” But you shouldn’t. Unless that person has a knife to you and is telling you they are going to kill you, you should not act on this thought to hurt someone. 

I should drive into oncoming traffic

Our brain thinks this idea a lot. But we know it’s still and we shouldn’t do it. Our brains just like to think oppositional sometimes, and the most oppositional thing we can think of is ending our life in traffic while driving. Don’t do this.

I should run for president

You shouldn’t. Nobody should run for President. Nothing good will come from it no matter who you are.

I want to eat 2 entire chocolate cakes

Don’t do this. Maybe eat 1 cake. Don’t eat 2 or you will get sick. So if you have the thought to eat 2 cakes, just don’t do it. 

I should go see Avatar 3

I know you’re going to want to see Avatar 3 when it comes out, but if you do, you will just be encouraging them to make more. And that’s a bad idea. So don’t go see Avatar 3 when it comes out in 5-10 years. Go see Black Adam 2. Now that’s a good idea you should act on. I loved Black Adam. I don’t get why people didn’t like it. People are sick. Black Adam was amazing. If you don’t think so, you need severe medical help. Go to the hospital right now if you didn’t enjoy Black Adam and ask for a lobotomy, because you are probably possessed by evil spirits if you didn’t enjoy Black Adam. Black Adam might be the only enjoyable movie to come out over the last 50 years. Actually it’s the only good movie ever made. I will stand by that statement and defend it. Name any other good movie? Oh you can’t? Because you’re unable to communicate with me through this article? Nice excuse.

Go see Black Adam right now, it’s on HBO. Then watch it again. Then write about it. Then go on the street and preach about it and tell other people to see it. Shave your head so you look like Black Adam. Change your name to Black Adam and name your children Black Adam. Sorry this is just getting me riled up thinking about how I’m not watching Black Adam right now. I’m gonna go watch Black Adam.

Ok, I just watched it, and it was- you know what. I need to go watch it again.

Ok, I just watched it again and- actually I need to watch it again.

Ok, just watched it again, wait.

Ok, watched it one more time and-

Just watched it again.

Once more.

Again.

Again.

Ok, I’m done I just watched it like 8 times today and-

Actually I just watched it one more time, 9 times in one day, that’s my new record. And while I’m thinking of it, let’s make it an even 10.

Done, just watched it 10 times.

I just watched Black Adam 10 times in one day and it feels so, so, good.

I’ve never felt this good before.

Actually, you know what would make me feel even better? You guessed it, I’m gonna watch it one more time.

Just watched Black Adam one more time, for a solid 11 times in a row.

Alright I’m going to go to sleep now.

We all know that’s a lie, I’m going to watch Black Adam again.