Posts by John Jacobs
Mass shooting interrupted by mass shooting
A mass shooting that took place at Wet Willy’s Waterpark on Flankton Avenue in East Tampa was temporarily interrupted, when a second mass shooter, not connected to the first mass shooter, showed up to commit a mass shooting. Arnold Jeffries, who entered at the south entrance and began opening fire towards the lazy river noticed…
Read MoreWoke liberal falls asleep at the wheel, kills 400
A self-proclaimed “ultra-woke liberal” man fell asleep while driving his monster truck during a monster truck show and accidentally drove into the stands, running over thousands of people, killing 400. Known as “The Woke Bloke,” the British-born monster truck driver, moved to the States as a child and become a bleeding-liberal, constantly championing whatever the…
Read More6 Ways white people can get away with saying the N-word
Play a character Leonardo Dicaprio, Edward Norton, Daniel Radcliffe, and many more of our most beloved white actors have gotten away with saying the N-word by doing it in character. When white people are playing racist characters in movies it’s ok for them to say the N-word. Write it in a book That book Tom…
Read MoreSchools to require students complete 40 hours of drag competitions before graduating
Hillsborough county public schools will now require all students participate in at least 40 hours of drag competitions in order to graduate, according to the Hillsborough County School Board. “To combat bigotry and prejudice, the only way we can effectively break children’s bad habits is to force them to immerse themselves in the diverse culture…
Read MoreBlack Herstory Month and Black Themstory Month declared to be celebrated
Following Black History Month, 2 more months celebrating black excellence, “Black Herstory Month” and “Back Themstory Month” have been declared to recognize the achievements of black women and black trans people. “There’s only so much time in February to talk of all of black people’s accomplishments, it’s necessary we have more time to celebrate the…
Read MoreMonkey with typewriter accidentally brings Hitler back to life
That old saying if you put one hundred monkeys with typewriters in a room and they could write Shakespeare has been taken to a new level after a monkey with a typewriter has accidentally brought Hitler back to life. Researchers at the Lowry Park Zoo were curious would would happen if they gave a monkey…
Read MoreBaby’s first word is N word, protective services called
Steve and Dan Dewey, a young married homosexual couple who are both pastors at a progressive church they co-own are being questioned after their adopted child said its first word, which was the N word, in a public park. The couple was playing bocce ball in Julian B. Lane park when the baby uttered the…
Read MoreRick Scott shares New Years kiss with fleshlight
Former disgraced Florida Governor, and current Florida Senator, Rick Scott, was caught sharing a New Years kiss with a fleshlight, during a party a the Senators mansion. “Yea he just walked out during the countdown with this dripping sex toy, then gave it a big tongue kiss when the clock hit zero. It was pretty…
Read More10 things I wish were told to me as a child
Everyone is full of shit Everyone, including yourself, is a hypocritical, compulsive liar. Sometimes because you want to make people happy, sometimes for personal gain. Politicians, parents, teachers (as George Carlin said) all full of shit. People want things at all times. Very few people on earth are rarely at rest or are fully satisfied…
Read MoreAndrew Tate sparring session turns into all male orgy
A sparring session between world-famous social-media star Andrew Tate and some random guy, turned into a 50-person, all-male orgy. “We sucked we f*cked, the whole shebang.” Said Tate. I’m sorry I can’t even write this, it was over before it even started. The headline is the only funny part, there’s no reason to expand, the…
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