Local comedic geniuses unable to reach consensus on 50 Cent joke

Three of Tampa Bay’s best up-and-coming humorists have reached an impasse over what is officially the best “50 Cent is fat” joke.

Curtis James Jackson III, better known by his stage name 50 Cent, appeared at the Super Bowl LVI halftime show, performing his signature hit song “In da Club”. Mr. Jackson, or Mr. Cent, looked to have gained some weight since previous public appearances, sending social media commentators into a frenzy.

The Tampa Bay comics, Mike Hurrl, Fooly Joe and Tyler Tylerson met at a local coffee shop to determine which of the variations on the one joke everyone is telling is officially the best. Together, the esteemed panel has nearly 13 months of combined open mic experience.

“First of all, it’s my joke. I came up with it first. So any variations on it are joke thievery and unauthorized. Let’s get that straight right up front,” said Hurrl.

“You know that isn’t true,” challenged Tylerson, immediately establishing a conflict. “Unless you were on Twitter the second he appeared on screen, there’s no way.”

“Dude, I told you I live-Tweet the Super Bowl halftime show every year. I’ve been doing it for the last two years and everybody knows it!” replied Hurrl in defense.

“Nobody knows that; you have 36 followers!” interjected Fooly Joe.

Putting aside the debate over Hurrl’s social media influence, the group began discussing the joke itself…

FOOLY JOE: 50 Cent out here looking more like a dollar. THAT’s funny!
TYLERSON: That’s ridiculous. He isn’t THAT big.
HURRL: He’s certainly not twice his regular size.
FOOLY JOE: You guys are taking an entirely too literal approach to this. Exaggeration is funny!
TYLERSON: 50 Cent out here looking more like 75 Cent. Much better joke.
HURRL: That doesn’t flow. Like, at all.
FOOLY JOE: 75 is a weird number. Way too many syllables.
TYLERSON: At least it’s plausibly realistic!
HURRL: 50 Cent out here looking more like 60 Cent. That’s the one, the way I wrote it originally.
FOOLY JOE: Too subtle.
HURRL: It’s perfect! It even rhymes!
TYLERSON: Who cares about rhyming? It’s comedy, not spoken word poetry.
FOOLY JOE: Just because it’s a joke about a rapper and it happens to rhyme doesn’t make it good.
TYLERSON: Yeah, ‘that’s sooo clever’… and maybe it is, but it isn’t funny.
HURRL: You’re both morons.
FOOLY JOE: Also, again, you didn’t write that.
HURRL: Yes I did!!

After 45 minutes of similar circular bickering, the group remained hopelessly deadlocked and imposed sanctions on each other in the form of not participating in one another’s individual podcasts.

All three, among others, will be performing their favorite iteration of this one joke at open mics for the foreseeable future.