Where should I take my mom in Tampa?

Mother’s day is the only day of the year when people pretend to love their moms. Because of this, most places in Tampa will be swarming with families dragging around their family’s matriarch to show them the good time they never had while raising them.

If you need some ideas and tips for where to show your mom a good time, seek no further than the Tampa gems below.

5. Riveters Tampa

Let’s get one thing straight, I don’t know your mother nor do I care to know her. But if you have a mom, I can assume they are a strong boss bitch who likes strong women aesthetics. Nowhere in Tampa can you find a more authentic boss bitch experience than Riveters on Dale Mabry next to the 2001 Nude Odyssey Strip Club. Dine underneath the world-famous spaceship and joke with your mom about buying her a lap dance after brunch.

4. Winn Dixie

If you’re reading this article for Mother’s day ideas, let’s face it, it’s too late to get a reservation anywhere nice. Why not take your mom to your nearest Winn Dixie and buy some food to cook for her. After checking out, throw a couple of bucks in the scratch-off machine for a chance to win some extra spending dough.

3. Your Dad’s House

After their divorce, your parents rarely talked to each other. While your dad may have gotten remarried and raised an actual family, you and your mom were left to make it in this cruel world through hard work and determination. This mother’s day, show up unannounced at your dad’s house with your mom and show him that you became a man all without his help.

2. Nail Salon

If your mom hasn’t lost all her nails due to some freak accident, I’m pretty sure she would enjoy getting them trimmed and painted. Women love when they are pampered, I know this because I took a gender studies course in college. While I was taught not to assume anything, I can with good faith announce that every woman who has nails would like to get them done. Your mom is no different and you should stop being so homophobic about going into a nail salon and enjoying a mani-pedi with your mother.

1. Todd Couples Superstore

Your mom is a human being, living in Tampa. Humans in Tampa really would like to have an orgasm, even when the odds are against them. Show your mom a really good time by taking her on a shopping spree for the most personal of items that can only be purchased in Tampa’s nicest store for dildos and porn.