How to reverse puberty
As you get older, you might realize you don’t enjoy the changes your body goes through, or any part of the aging process in general.
Well luckily for you, science has found steps you can take to actually reverse the process of puberty and regenerate yourself back to your childlike existence. Follow these directions for a guaranteed way to stay prepubescent.
- Chew ice chips
The process of chewing ice chips at least 3 times daily, will cool down your core and essentially “slow time” as your temperature drops. When you reach a certain temperature, time actually begins to reverse, and your body will begin un-aging. The colder you keep yourself at all times, the more effective this method will be.
- Steam garlic roots
Fill a large basin with garlic roots and steam them 7 times a day, while keeping your nostrils as close as you can to the steam fumes. Garlic roots have a natural reverse-aging property which when huffed will meander amongst your brain fluid which swishes around your skull. The longer the garlic root fumes stay inside of your head the better. Do this about once ever 2 hours, or more depending how prepubescent you want to stay. Buy garlic roots from certified organic markets only. If hormones have been used on the garlic, it will hinder the process.
- Walk backwards
When you move forwards, you move forward in time. When you move backwards, you go backward in time. It’s like when Cameron in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off puts his dads car on that car thing to take the miles off the car. When the car reverses, it takes the miles away. The human body is the same way. When you move backwards, time goes backwards and it takes off all the steps you’ve previously accumulated. Rolling backwards works as well. If you run backwards that speeds up the process.
- Send $3,000 to @John-Jacobs-84 on Venmo
I was blessed with a gift by a witch doctor when I was an infant. I have the ability to reverse people’s age by moving my hands in a certain pattern and casting a spell. I have the ability to do this remotely as well. From anywhere in the world, I can find your energy, and reverse your age. When you send me the money, I will be able to locate you from the transaction, and within 2 business days, you should be at an age before puberty hit.
