Placement of triangle on album cover proves secret society is controlling world

The positioning of a small, red triangle on the cover of a pop music CD is being considered proof that a secret cabal is controlling the world.

“They put the triangle there to show you!” Said Brevard Young, an avid scholar dedicated to imagery and ancient scripture.

“The triangle represents a pyramid! And the pyramid is their system structure! The 1% is on top, and they’re exploring the bottom 99%!” Ranted Young, as he pointed furiously to the album cover picture.

“See, see, they’re proud, and they can’t help but put their subliminal imagery on everything they make to subconsciously influence us! And-“ Mid sentence, Youngs head blew up. Blood splattered all over the office we were conducting the interview.

I wasn’t surprised by this because peoples heads have exploded for years during my interviews at this point.

The reality I live in is plagued by extreme surprises and twists, to the point that it doesn’t affect me anymore.

I half-expect anyone who I’m talking to’s head to explode. This was not a surprise.

A small alien creature then crawled out of Young’s exploded neck hole and began walking on the ceiling.

Again, this didn’t surprise me, I’m used to weird, interstellar stuff happening, I could yawn at this.

The alien on the ceiling began speaking to me telepathically, again, hack, unoriginal, I’ve experienced this dozens of times over.

The alien explained to me that numerous Gods were monitoring our planet and I was living in a simulation, but I cut off the alien and said, “Uh, uh, uh, stop. Shhh. Quiet. I get it. I’ve heard it a hundred times before, I don’t care, this is not new, please just explode into a ball of light or whatever trite exit you have planned.”

The taken-aback alien then exploded into a ball of light, just as I guessed, and disappeared without a trace.

I tore up my notes I had taken for the story and smashed my audio recorded on the ground.

As I was leaving the grounds where Young had his office, I bumped into myself walking into the building.

“Hmm, this is kind of new.” I said to my other self walking into the building.

“What are you doing here?” I asked myself.

My other self was also only slightly surprised, saying, “Oh wow, yea this is different, I don’t think we’ve ever run into ourself before while conducting a story, I’m not sure what this is.”

We studied each other for a moment and began ruminating over what could possibly be taking place.

The office began melting, being sucked down through a tiny pin-point, until all that was left was an infinite white void that me and my self were standing in.

“Well this is fun.” Said myself.

“Yea, this is fun.” I agreed.

Then the white void changed to blue.

“Oooo.” We both awed in unison.

Then my other self took off a mask and it was my boss at Tampa News Force.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“I can’t do this, we were trying to set something up to make you happy and do something different, but I just can’t pretend to be you, this is too much time and effort and I have things to do.” My boss said exasperated.

The blue void faded into my Tampa News Force office, and we were back in the lobby where we worked.

“Ah, that’s ok. I figured nothing new or special was really happening.” I shrugged.

“Thanks for trying though!” I said.

“It was nice to feel something new for a brief moment!” I tried to appreciate my bosses efforts.

“Yea, thanks, we thought you’d like it. Anyway, I’ve got to get back to the finances, and my daughter needs to get picked up soon so I’m in a rush.” My boss said, before power-walking back to the elevator to his office.

“Well, I’m going to consider this my story for the day and clock out early.” I said to the nearest secretary.

“Sure Mr. Jacobs, I hope you have a good rest of your day.” The secretary smiled at me.

Once I got home, I laid on the couch and watched the news for a while before eating a can of Tuna. Then I went to sleep early. I know you don’t care, but I thought I’d tell you anyway.