Tampa Man Says We Should Expand the Trolley System for 100th Time to Stranger at Bar

A local bar patron is being celebrated today after mentioning to the 100th uninterested person at a bar that the City of Tampa should expand its trolley system.

Anthony Davis, a frequent patron of Ybor City’s Guzzle Hole, is known for talking at length about Tampa’s TECO Hartline Trolley System. For his efforts, Davis was gifted a free hat with the trolley logo.

“It’s all he ever wants to talk about when he’s had a few in him,” said bartender of the Guzzle Hole, Ed Sharps. “We try to get him to change the subject, but he won’t listen.”

When asked for a comment, Davis began throwing up before he could say a word, and then he passed out flat on his back on the floor of the bar.

“He’s been in here since we opened at 6 AM.” Said Sharps.

I asked them why they let him drink so much at the bar, but then he explained that Davis used to live in Tampa when the trolley system was a great way to get around the city.

“Those rail lines are buried under the pavement.  Davis wants to dig them out and put the overhead wires back up,” said Sharps while pouring me a beer.

We watched as Davis rolled to his side and began vomiting some more.

“If the trolley system still existed, Davis would have been able to hop on one of those and then fall off the trolley right in front of his house,” said Sharps.  “The cops wanted the trolley gone because they wanted to raise money through ticketing people.”

I laughed it off and had a couple of more beers before deciding to drive home. Davis was still passed out on the ground as I was walking to my car.

On my way home, I was pulled over for driving without my lights on.  I waited for the cop to get out of his car before I took off.  During the high-speed chase through Ybor City, I was forced to drive on the trolley tracks.

I tried to get off the tracks to avoid an oncoming trolley, but I got stuck and then the trolley was blocked.  The police showed up and arrested me.  Thankfully no one was injured. 

I wish the trolley system would pass by my house, that would have prevented this catastrophe.