Tampa News Force gives up

Tampa News Force (TNF) has given up fighting a lawsuit brought by pop superstar Taylor Swift, opting instead to settle the matter out of court.

10 minutes ago, TNF lawyers were fully prepared to battle the multiple Grammy award winner’s efforts to bend the one-time Creative Loafing Best of the Bay winning media outlet to her will. But upon learning that Swift wanted nothing less than to own the organization outright and control any and all aspects of the business as well as the personal lives of the staff, they shrugged their shoulders and said, “Sounds good.”

A deal was struck and the transaction was agreed upon in principle, with Swift taking control immediately. Details of the sale are not being made public.

“It was pretty much a no-brainer,” said spineless TNF lawyer Paul Clifftun, who was literally born without a spine and qualifies legally to be identified as a liquid as a result. “First of all, fighting lawsuits can be messy. Yuck! Icky!! Secondly, being owned by Taylor Swift is probably going to be fine. She seems really nice. We could have done far worse, that’s for sure. It’s not like we were getting sued by a real piece of human feces like Kid Rock or Travis Tritt.”

“Yet,” he added, winking to the camera for some reason.