Abortions are gay
If that didn’t get you to click the story, I don’t know what would.
Welp, now that you’re here, we might as well talk about it. Oppenheimer.
Just kidding, we’re talking about abortion.
No we’re not.
Nevermind.
Article over.
Also, abortions are not gay, I just wrote that for comic effect. I didn’t mean it, so don’t hate me for it. You hate me! I can feel it!
Stop!
Ugh.
You always get like this!
One day you’re like this, the next day you’re not.
What am I supposed to do? I’m asking you. What do you want me to do? What am I supposed to do?
If you just tell me I’ll do it. But you don’t even know what you want.
You say one thing but you do another, your actions are what matter, it doesn’t matter how many times you say the good thing if you keep doing the bad thing.
Alright, that was a long-form improv’d poem written by yours truly. I will be accepting roses both physically and digitally, you can donate to my slush fund in a number of ways, so don’t be stingy! Open up those money bags and dump em’ in! Alright, that’s like the fifth time I’ve said “alright” but I mean it this time. Shows over.
You can’t sleep here, I don’t care where you go, but you can’t stay here, this is not a place where you sleep this is a poem. You can’t sleep in poems, you can try but it’s not comfortable.
What’s that?
You’re asleep?
Bullshit.
If you were you wouldn’t be able to talk to me right now.
Ahhh, didn’t think I had logic. (Points to head)
Ok, this one’s definitely over, we strictly liked it for the title. And yes, I say “we” because this headline had a second pair of eyes on it, so that means it really has potential. It’s gold Jerry! (Kramer talking about the things J*ws hide.)
((And yes, even though that’s a funny joke, I’m so scared of comedy, I’m censoring the word “Jews.”
That second use was far enough away from the joke so I think it’s safe to type it out in full.
I’m half! Only on my dad’s side though, so they’d still throw me in the pits. It only counts if your mom’s Jewish. Did you know that? You have to come out of a Jewish vagina to be considered Jewish. Don’t mind how many times I’ve come in a Jewish vagina though! (Not as many as I’d like!)
Wow, what an ending.
