Pickleball Tournament Winner Still a Loser

After a grueling two-week tournament, Saminson Polaro has emerged as the winner of Tampa’s Worldwide Pickleball Invitational Tournament.

“The victory is sweet, the prize money is great, but people still refuse to look me in the eyes,” said Polaro.

Nearly 200 of the world’s top pickleball players competed against each other for an $85,000 grand prize at Tampa’s Pickleball Palace in New Tampa.

Polaro celebrated his victory at a Waffle House near his hotel, the Dayton, OH native says no one approached him or asked him about his seven-foot-tall trophy.

“I tried to tell the waitress I was a pickleball champion, and all she wanted to know was how I wanted my hasbrowns,” said Polaro.  “After taking my order, I think she told the chef to spit in my food, because I could hear them laughing at me when I was eating.”

After dining at Waffle House, Polaro decided to cash in his check and take his winnings to a strip club.

“Honestly, I left my wife to pursue my dream of conquering this sport and the money doesn’t make me feel any less alone,” said Polaro.  “None of the strippers came up to me and asked if I wanted a dance.”

After throwing out over $83,000 in the air, Polaro was asked to leave the establishment.

“I don’t know why nobody likes me, I’m an athlete at the top of my game, everyone should be worshipping me,” cried Polaro. 

During his walk back to the hotel, a group of teens on bicycles started harassing Polaro.  He attempted to run away but they beat him up and stole the rest of his money.