Donald Trump gets raped in jail

Former, and potentially future, President, Donald Trump, was processed at the Fulton Country jail only 461 miles away from Tampa on Thursday, and while he was only in the facility for 20 minutes before posting bail, he was raped by another inmate in the holding cell.

The rapist was Curtis “Cleveland” Moletski, who was being contained after public intoxication and assault on an officer.

“Yea, I didn’t know who he was, I just saw the blonde hair and I thought it was like, a fat chick or something, she had a hot voice, so I forced myself on her, but yea, as it’s famously known now, that was actually former President, Donald Trump, and I happened to molest him while I was trashed in the holding cell.” Said Moletski.

The jail guard who was supposed to be on watch, was in the bathroom texting his friends, bragging that he had just incarcerated Donald Trump.

Trump has addressed the issue calling it “fake news” and claiming that he was actually the molester, and that it was the other way around.

“I raped Mr. Moletski, he did not rape me, I would never let anyone rape me, I wanted to rape him so I did, it was a great rape, the best rape you’ve ever seen.” Trump said.

While there is security footage of the incident, it has not been made public to the media.

“Well… Yea, there’s something on the tape… One of them actually says the n-word and we’re not sure which one of them it is, but we have to hold on to this as evidence during our investigation.” Explained, Michael Lubinsky, head security guard at the county jail.

“Honestly it’s just another day in Fulton.” Lubinsky shrugged.