TNF Honors Person

The Tampa News Force Human Being Individual of the Year is a yearly honor, starting with this one, bestowed upon a human being regarded as an individual who has held significant influence over the events that have taken place over the past year, as determined by the editors of Tampa News Force (TNF).

This year, it should come as no surprise that that honor goes to none other than TNF owner and somewhat renowned musician Taylor Swift.

And what a year she has had…

• Staged and headlined a highly successful world concert tour
• Performed two of three sold-out concerts at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa
• Initiated legal action against TNF as a result of media coverage of the item listed above
• Took ownership of TNF in a settlement from that case
• Took ownership of the NFL and a whole bunch of its fans as a result of dating Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce
• Retained status as most talented and beautiful performer in the history of music
• Continued to serve as a role model to millions
• Continued to be a source of jealousy stemming from inadequacy to millions more
• I’m writing this at gunpoint
• A bunch of Swifties broke in here and made me write this
• We’ve never honored a Human Being Individual of the Year before
• I doubt we’ll ever do it again
• The Swifties threatened to murder my wife and kids if I didn’t do this
• I told them I don’t have a wife and kids
• They said, “and you never will if you don’t do this” and threatened to shoot me in the penis area
• They just stepped out for… oh shit, they’re back
• Taylor Swift is the greatest!