Papa John’s Opens New Concept Restaurant

The subpar pizza chain, Papa Johns, is opening a new concept restaurant in one of Tampa’s most disgusting strip malls.

“After years of serving the worst pizza imaginable, we tasked our staff to come up with a new cuisine we can ruin,” said CEO of Papa Johns, Robert Lynch during a conference call. “This job is very easy for me, all I have to do is keep this call going without saying the n-word and I can do whatever I want.”

The new restaurant, Mama John’s, will be like Papa John’s but it will sell bowls of spaghetti instead. 

“We could have just made spaghetti a menu item at Papa John’s, but we felt this concept was strong enough to keep them separate.” said Lynch.

The new restaurant is experimenting in Tampa Bay and hopes to expand nationwide.

“People might not want this now, but pretty soon, everyone will be murdering each other to try our spaghetti.” Said Lynch on the conference call. “Now to get out of here before I say the n-word.”

The conference call then ended and my phone blew up, causing damage to the side of my face.

“Ow, that burns.” I said out loud to no one.