5 Tampa secrets your parents don’t want you to know about
Tampa is full of surprises. Twists and turns. Ups and downs. Here are 5 Tampa secrets that your parents don’t want you to know about.
- The gas pumps in Tampa are Free from 1:05 – 1:07 AM
The gas pumps at all gas stations in Tampa dispense free gasoline from 1:05 to 1:07 AM. This is just when the systems reset for the next day and there is a grace period window to fill up your tank without being charged at all. Don’t tell your parents I told you this though, they won’t like it. They wanted you to get a job so you could pay for gas honestly and not steal it like a hooligan.
- You can access another realm if you enter a door in Ybor on 12th avenue
There is a door on 12th avenue in Ybor, between Kessler and Mountain Drive, that takes you to another dimension where time stops and nothing but pleasure consumes your brain. All of your dreams come true and endorphins blast throughout your cerebellum at a million miles per second. You see new colors you didn’t know existed and you hear divine language being spoken that you’ve never heard. You’re suddenly satisfied in every facet of your being.
And it’s free!
The door is half green and half red and has no signage. Go in any time of the day and this will happen.
You’re parents definitely don’t want you to know about this because then they know you will most likely abandon everything else on earth, including them, and they would hate that, which is fair to an extent. You shouldn’t completely abandon your family for this special realm.
- If you go 120mph over the Courtney Campbell Causeway, time reverses
If you’re driving towards Clearwater over the CCC and your speed exceeds 120 miles per hour, time will begin going backwards. You’ll see people walking backwards, birds flying backwards, the sun will move in reverse. It’s very trippy to be frank with you. It’s definitely a fun little secret about Tampa you probably haven’t heard before.
Your parents will not want you knowing this at all because then you could hypothetically reverse time back before you were born and prevent them from meeting. Then they wouldn’t be your parents. And your parents wouldn’t like that.
- Chic-Fil-A is actually open on Sundays
That’s right, the secret is out. Chic-Fil-A is open on Sundays. You’ve been lied to your whole life. And by who? You guessed it. Your parents. They lied to you because they wanted you to go to Sunday school. That’s why they told you it’s closed. Have you ever even bothered going to the back door when they tell you it’s supposedly “closed”?
Of course you haven’t. Because you listened to YOUR PARENTS. This is a major Tampa secret they don’t want you to know about
- Tampa is actually in Miami
Yea, I hate to break it to you, but Tampa isn’t on even actually its own place. It’s in Miami. Tampa is just a neighborhood in Miami. Your parents have lied to you about this secret for a long, long, time. Think about it. Why does Tampa feel like Miami, but just with less people? Because it is Miami. It’s just a little bit down the road.
Have you ever seen Miami and Tampa at the same time? Of course not, it’s the same place, it’s always at the same place at the same time and you’re living in it. I apologize to all the parents reading this and seeing that I’ve blown their biggest Tampa secret out of the water. But that’s it. And that’s the #1 Tampa secret that your parents don’t want you to know about.
And I think the most impressive part of this article is that none of it was written by AI, even though as I write it and read it back I feel like it is written by AI. But it’s not. I know I’m a human. Watch this. Ow! I just smacked myself in the leg. And it hurt. So I know I’m real. Right? I’m real right? Or is that another secret parents have been hiding from me… Maybe I’ll never know.
