Tampa Man Finds Gasoline… Wait… Nope. Just Kidding

After days of searching following Hurricane Milton, and on the verge of running out, Marvin Blasky of Tampa called the Tampa News Force tip line at (813) 433-0267 to let us know that he has found a gas station with plenty of fuel, no lines and at a reasonable price. 

“Yeah, it’s a Shell station and…,” he said. “Err, I mean, um, it’s a Schwell station. Schwell. Yeah, it’s an off-brand you’ve probably never heard of that is not affiliated with Shell and not anywhere near the fairgrounds, that’s for sure.”

“In fact, it’s nowhere. It doesn’t exist. I made it up because I was kidding. It’s a joke,” he said. “Forget I said anything. Don’t come out here looking for gas because there isn’t any. I was joking. Anybody who knows me will tell you I’m a joker. Ha ha! I like to play little jokes on people. Ha ha ha!”

His friend Dave, who does know Marvin and has known him most of his life said, “Yeah, I know Marvin and I’ve known him most of his life. He does like jokes but they’re never funny so this is pretty standard for him.”

“My name isn’t Marvin Blasky. Me no English. What? Wrong number, wrong number,” said someone we thought was Marvin Blasky before suddenly hanging up.