St. Patrick’s Day basically the same this year

Sean Dooley, owner and manager of Tooty O’Flinnagan’s Irish Pubbery doesn’t expect the Covid-19 pandemic to have any major impact on his business’s biggest day of the year, St. Patrick’s Day.

“We’ll put up green stuff, even more than usual. A bunch of people will get sloppy drunk, sing terribly and girls will flash their boobs. The only difference is they’ll probably be doing it at home and not here, which will be utterly devastating”, he says. “But otherwise, you won’t even be able to tell the difference.” He then laughed a little too hard.

He went on to say, “Listen, I know everyone is scared and confused right now. That’s understandable. None of us have ever been through anything like this before. So what’s the worst that could happen? My business loses what is basically our ‘Black Friday’? The electric company turns off the lights? My landlord voids my lease? I can’t afford to pay my employees? Loan sharks break both my legs again? Eh. Such is the ol’ bar biz!”

Mr. Dooley then walked into the kitchen, whistling a cheery Irish tune, removed a pan of corned beef and cabbage from his oven and stuck his head inside.