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Details Emerging from Unreleased Gaetz Report

It's a party with the USAG!

Following the House Ethics Committee’s decision to not release its report on the conduct of former Florida congressman and former candidate for U.S. Attorney General Matt Gaetz, disturbing details are still coming to light about specific allegations. Among the claims being made by witnesses who testified to the committee is that Gaetz inquired in text…

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Minecraft cosplayer mistaken for Matt Gaetz

Gaetzcraft

Jeff Coldblum of Bradenton was in Tampa to attend Tampa Bay Comic Con held at the Tampa Convention Center this past weekend where he was greeted with hostility due to people mistaking him for U.S. representative and probable human trafficker Matt Gaetz. “They were so mean,” said Coldblum. “All these people getting in my face…

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Matt Gaetz sets up kissing booth at summer camp

Kissing Booth

“It was a joke!” Gaetz said during his morning press conference. “I was just being funny, I made a sign that said ‘kissing booth’ because it’s funny, and yes, I sat near the girls dorm and I proceeded to kiss girls for a few hours, but it was a goof!” Gaetz huffed. “Seriously, I don’t…

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Matt Gaetz kicked out of Congressional Fight Club for violating first rule of Congressional Fight Club

As the scandal surrounding the federal sex trafficking investigation of Florida Republican Congressman Matt Gaetz continues to spiral, Gaetz is finding himself increasingly isolated politically. Yesterday, he was ousted from Congressional Fight Club, a non-government sanctioned social organization consisting of male members of the House of Representatives gathering once a month in a sub-basement of…

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Creepy youth pastor lurking around Ybor confused with Matt Gaetz

This is not Matt Gaetz

A pastor for a new youth ministry cult east of Tampa has been spotted walking around Ybor City, and many people have mistakenly assumed he is Matt Gaetz, the U.S. representative for Florida’s 1st congressional district. “Matt Gaetz? Ha ha, no that’s not me. I’m Pastor Keith and I just want to hip the kids…

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Matt Gaetz Pelted with Water Balloons Full of Semen

Matt Gaetz Hit with Water Ballon full of semen

Pensacola Town Hall – Escambia County – Tuesday, 5.4.2019 While leaving a town hall today, Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz was pelted by supporters with water ballons full of human and pig semen. “Any regular person who receives this kind of treatment would be outraged,” said Gaetz while licking some of the semen off his face, “But…

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