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Tampa News Force

Toilet Destroyed

Tampa News Force honored with Good Taste award

By TNF | May 22, 2022

The National Society for the Advancement of Understatement and Decency (NSAUD) has awarded the Gold Ribbon of Superior Excellence to Tampa News Force (TNF) for refraining from using a popular photograph that has been circulating on the internet recently for the sake of a cheap and easy joke. The photo is of a toilet that…

Breaking News

House for sale

Couple selling extremely rare real estate plot in Tampa

Doug and Amanda Schbluth of Tampa Heights are selling their home, which happens to be the most unique house in the city: it’s the only…

DeSantis proclaims Buccaneers ‘rightful winner’ over Rams

Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a proclamation Tuesday declaring the Tampa Bay Buccaneers the “rightful winners and actual World Champions” three months after their 30-27 loss…

Wood chipper

Car thief attempts to elude cops by hiding in wood chipper

By Clark Brooks | April 24, 2022

Clayton Plateler of Tampa has been arrested after his attempt to hide from Tampa Police Department officers in a wood chipper failed miserably. Police were called to the Mayflower Motel on North Florida Avenue where Plateler had been spotted breaking car windows and stealing radios. When officers arrived on scene, he tried to escape by…

Sports

Tampa Bay Sports

Fans file lawsuit against Bucs, Lightning, Rays and Rowdies for false advertising

A pair of Tampa Bay sports fans have filed a $6 billion class-action lawsuit against the Buccaneers, Lightning, Rays, Rowdies, Major League Baseball, the National…

Toronto latest Canadian city to not appreciate the humor in losing a postseason series to the Tampa Bay Lightning

The Tampa Bay Lightning defeated the Toronto Maple Leafs 2-1 in Game 7 of their first round series in the 2021-22 NHL playoffs Saturday night…

XFL TV

Apparently The Rock is serious about bringing back the XFL?

By Clark Brooks | May 21, 2022

Tuesday the XFL announced a new, global multi-year agreement with The Walt Disney Company and ESPN, which includes exclusive broadcast rights for all gameday content, tentpole events and more, for its upcoming 2023 season through 2027. Each season, all 43 games (40 regular season games, two playoffs, one championship) will be featured on a combination…

Arts and Entertainment

Take Mom Out this Mothers Day

Where should I take my mom in Tampa?

Mother’s day is the only day of the year when people pretend to love their moms. Because of this, most places in Tampa will be…

Get him!

Top Five Self-Defense Tactics For Local Comedians

This list is intended specifically for comedians currently practicing their craft in the Tampa Bay Area. That doesn’t mean non-comedians and/or non-local residents can’t read…

Replacements

Record store employee not surprised Tucker Carlson doesn’t like The Replacements

By Clark Brooks | May 19, 2022

Thad Dogbreath, a sales associate at the Microgroove record store in Seminole Heights, is not surprised that conservative tv pundit Tucker Carlson is not a fan of The Replacements. “I’m not only not surprised, I’m glad”, said Dogbreath. “He seems like a real douche and not at all someone who would be into The ‘Mats.”…

Government

Therapy

Mayor Castor attends therapy session with Tampa City Council

Following a recent series of unpleasant confrontations between Tampa Mayor Jane Castor and members of the Tampa City Council, all parties involved have agreed to…

Anita Bryant

DeSantis proposes re-animated corpse of Anita Bryant as replacement for Mickey Mouse

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is proposing a possible compromise in the ongoing strained relationship between his office and The Walt Disney Company. “Maybe there’s room…

Marco

Marco Rubio to become a pedophile so that people will talk about him

By Josh Santos | May 13, 2022

In an effort to become more relevant within his party and generate much needed media attention, Florida Senator Marco Rubio has announced that he is a pedophile. “I love fucking kids,” said Rubio to thunderous applause from the GOP base he so desperately wants to be accepted by.  “Whenever I see a child, I get…

Local and Community

Parking Suicide

Paid parking spots in Ybor cause spike in suicides

“It’s all we had left.” Read the last words of a note left behind by Trina Daniels, a resident of Ybor City. The new pay-to-park…

Abortion Bar

Abortion bar opens in Seminole Heights

A new establishment in South Seminole Heights named “Suckers” has opened, touting its option for woman to receive an abortion while they have a drink…

Boat Parade

Arms dealers celebrate another successful year with boat parade

By Clark Brooks | May 20, 2022

In what has become a new Tampa Bay tradition, some of the world’s billion dollar corporations that manufacture and sell weapons systems to equip the brave men and women who protect our country by serving as troops in the military, as well as troops from any other countries with an established line of credit, held…

Toilet Destroyed

Tampa News Force honored with Good Taste award

By TNF | May 22, 2022

The National Society for the Advancement of Understatement and Decency (NSAUD) has awarded the Gold Ribbon of Superior Excellence to Tampa News Force (TNF) for refraining from using a popular photograph that has been circulating on the internet recently for the sake of a cheap and easy joke. The photo is of a toilet that…

XFL TV

Apparently The Rock is serious about bringing back the XFL?

By Clark Brooks | May 21, 2022

Tuesday the XFL announced a new, global multi-year agreement with The Walt Disney Company and ESPN, which includes exclusive broadcast rights for all gameday content, tentpole events and more, for its upcoming 2023 season through 2027. Each season, all 43 games (40 regular season games, two playoffs, one championship) will be featured on a combination…

Boat Parade

Arms dealers celebrate another successful year with boat parade

By Clark Brooks | May 20, 2022

In what has become a new Tampa Bay tradition, some of the world’s billion dollar corporations that manufacture and sell weapons systems to equip the brave men and women who protect our country by serving as troops in the military, as well as troops from any other countries with an established line of credit, held…

Replacements

Record store employee not surprised Tucker Carlson doesn’t like The Replacements

By Clark Brooks | May 19, 2022

Thad Dogbreath, a sales associate at the Microgroove record store in Seminole Heights, is not surprised that conservative tv pundit Tucker Carlson is not a fan of The Replacements. “I’m not only not surprised, I’m glad”, said Dogbreath. “He seems like a real douche and not at all someone who would be into The ‘Mats.”…

Tampa Bay Sports

Fans file lawsuit against Bucs, Lightning, Rays and Rowdies for false advertising

By Clark Brooks | May 18, 2022

A pair of Tampa Bay sports fans have filed a $6 billion class-action lawsuit against the Buccaneers, Lightning, Rays, Rowdies, Major League Baseball, the National Football League, the National Hockey League and the USL Championship league, due to the fact that none of the teams listed actually play their home games in the body of…

Fetus Vaccine

Doctors begin vaccinating fetuses

By John Jacobs | May 17, 2022

A new Pfizer vaccine specifically designed for use in vitro has been released and put into practice, vaccinating babies before they leave their mother’s womb. A syringe is inserted directly through the woman’s fallopian tube which, reaches the baby, vaccinating it, and protecting it from Covid before it’s delivered. “It didn’t hurt, and I’m happy…

Cougars

Cougars Find New Loophole

By Josh Santos | May 16, 2022

The cougar exhibit at Busch Gardens has some exciting new curious cats that have recently found a new loophole in their habitat. “We installed climbing ropes in the containment enclosure to simulate the type of climbing cougars find in the wild,” said Busch Gardens’ head of cougar rehabilitation, McDanish Brekfestret.  “Instead of using the ropes,…

Toronto latest Canadian city to not appreciate the humor in losing a postseason series to the Tampa Bay Lightning

By Clark Brooks | May 15, 2022

The Tampa Bay Lightning defeated the Toronto Maple Leafs 2-1 in Game 7 of their first round series in the 2021-22 NHL playoffs Saturday night in Toronto.  As a result, the Maple Leafs join the Montreal Canadiens and Calgary Flames as franchises that have lost a postseason series to the Lightning, who play in Tampa…

Parking Suicide

Paid parking spots in Ybor cause spike in suicides

By John Jacobs | May 14, 2022

“It’s all we had left.” Read the last words of a note left behind by Trina Daniels, a resident of Ybor City. The new pay-to-park street spots in Ybor have been tied to dozens of recent suicides according to the final words of the unfortunate victims who succumb to the new depression of government greed.…

Marco

Marco Rubio to become a pedophile so that people will talk about him

By Josh Santos | May 13, 2022

In an effort to become more relevant within his party and generate much needed media attention, Florida Senator Marco Rubio has announced that he is a pedophile. “I love fucking kids,” said Rubio to thunderous applause from the GOP base he so desperately wants to be accepted by.  “Whenever I see a child, I get…