Tampa News Force
Tampa man quits job over way staff is treated the first time he feels mistreated
Larry Landerson, formerly a sales department manager with Business Corp., a successful business corporation operating out of Rivergate Tower in downtown Tampa, has resigned due to what he feels is unfair mistreatment. “Sure, there’s always been mistreatment of certain employees there. That was part of the culture, but it wasn’t pervasive in a meaningful way…
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Breaking News
Now, VOTE FOR US!
Two months ago to the day, June 3, we politely, humbly and respectfully demanded that you nominate us for a 2022 Best of the Bay…
Rick Scott makes attempt to express concern for military service members
US Senator from Florida and rejected Star Wars droid prototype Rick Scott spent Thursday making care packages with The United Service Organizations Inc., better known…
Family pet foils school shooting
Plans for a public school mass shooting were thwarted by a plucky pooch in Palma Ceia! A young man whose name is being withheld by authorities due to him being a minor who never actually carried out a crime but is named Calvin Mooshtock was in the middle of broadcasting a threatening message about what…
Sports
No winners declared at last night’s BKFC event
Following the Burger King Fighting Challenge that occurred last night at the Burger King at 7450 E. Hillsborough in Tampa, the location’s manager said that…
Future news: Lightning win 65th consecutive Stanley Cup
A man claiming to be from the future is claiming that the Lightning win 65 straight Stanley Cups in the coming years. Jedidiah Bunchkin, a…
Giselle, “I forgot to do ritual for Lightning”
Giselle Bündchen, super model and wife of Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady, has admitted that she forgot to do a ritual for the Tampa Lightning. “I’ve been so busy doing rituals for my own family and my husband that it just slipped my mind.” She said. “I’m sorry, I know if I had just placed a…
Arts and Entertainment
Apple adds abortion emoji
Due to abortions’ increase in relevance, the new Apple IOS update will include 16 new emojis, including 3 abortion ones. The head of Apple’s iPhone…
Mons Venus discontinues attractive, young entertainers
Following what has become an established-but-annoying business trend, Tampa’s world famous Mons Venus “gentleman’s club” has announced that they will no longer offer young attractive…
FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago expected to yield catastrophic damage to comedy audiences
Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home was raided by the FBI. This is horrific news for anyone who has to sit through an open mic this week. An unprecedented step by federal law enforcement—executing a search warrant on a former President’s home—will unfortunately kick off a series of mind-numbingly precedented events: hacky Trump jokes by local standup…
Government
Seven One Seven Parking Enterprises to open downtown Tampa skate park
With the Tampa City Council debating the merits of enforcing an ordinance that criminalizes skateboarding in the City of Tampa, with $75 tickets for skaters…
Cardi B now most successful of the US Government’s Cardi droids
As many of you know, the US government began experimenting with the CARDI Program in the late 1980s, CARDI being short for Computerized Ass Revolving…
DeSantis places restrictions on Kate Bush music
Due to being featured prominently in the popular Netflix series Stranger Things, the Kate Bush Song “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God),” originally released in 1985, is a chart-topping hit again. “Yeah, and I’m sick of it,” said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “Damn song is everywhere, all the time.” For that reason, among…
Local and Community
Mar-a-Lago resident gets along with all of her neighbors… except one
Gladys Narkwerk, a long-time resident of Mar-a-Largo, the exclusive resort community in Palm Beach County, says it’s a great place to live and that she…
Rogue cop plays by his own rules
Andrea Warren of Tampa was recently pulled over and cited for an illegal u-turn by a police officer while sitting at a red light on…
The ocean gets cancelled
After an estimated 4.5 billion years of existence, the ocean is being cancelled on social media after a large group of people have continued to point out the atrocities the ocean has committed against humanity. The “Cancel the Ocean” movement has gained 65,000 digital signatures which means it has forced The White House to consider…
Larry Landerson, formerly a sales department manager with Business Corp., a successful business corporation operating out of Rivergate Tower in downtown Tampa, has resigned due to what he feels is unfair mistreatment. “Sure, there’s always been mistreatment of certain employees there. That was part of the culture, but it wasn’t pervasive in a meaningful way…
19-year-old Caroline Schwartz of Temple Terrace hates everything about her job at Starbucks, but really hates having to make ‘pup cups’ for patrons who have dogs. “It’s bad enough that I have to do what people tell me, like, they’re better than me and I have to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ because I’m paid…
Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, Inc., commonly known as simply Cracker Barrel, the American chain of restaurant and gift stores which features a Southern country theme and serves as a bastion of extreme left-wing politics, has recently added so-called “Impossible” sausage, a plant-based protein meat substitute to their menu, meaning everyone who dines there has…
Due to being featured prominently in the popular Netflix series Stranger Things, the Kate Bush Song “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God),” originally released in 1985, is a chart-topping hit again. “Yeah, and I’m sick of it,” said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “Damn song is everywhere, all the time.” For that reason, among…
After an estimated 4.5 billion years of existence, the ocean is being cancelled on social media after a large group of people have continued to point out the atrocities the ocean has committed against humanity. The “Cancel the Ocean” movement has gained 65,000 digital signatures which means it has forced The White House to consider…
The following is a paid commercial advertisement. The views and opinions expressed within do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff and management of Tampa News Force, except they do because it’s a commercial for Tampa News Force by Tampa News Force and we paid for it. Have you seen everybody wearing all kinds…
Gladys Narkwerk, a long-time resident of Mar-a-Largo, the exclusive resort community in Palm Beach County, says it’s a great place to live and that she loves the neighbors she shares it with, with one notable exception. “There’s this one man, I believe he used to work in television or something, I can’t say I care…
During a recent survey of people infected with Monkeypox, over 85% of respondents said that the Florida Senator, Rick Scott, was the last person they had physically come in contact with before experiencing symptoms. “I met him at a press event, and we hooked up,” said Everett Estreya, a 27-year-old intern for CNN. “After he…
Andrea Warren of Tampa was recently pulled over and cited for an illegal u-turn by a police officer while sitting at a red light on north Dale Mabry at Waters Avenue. The officer, who identified himself as Captain Donny SeRantis with a law enforcement agency he refused to identify, said, “When you flagrantly violate traffic…
Florida schools are facing a major staffing crisis, with over a thousand unfilled positions in Hillsborough County alone, where the school year began yesterday. As a result, they are turning to the school’s students themselves as a last resort. “We tried to recruit unqualified military veterans. That didn’t work. We’ve tried everything, every possible option,”…