Tampa News Force
Top 5 Common Household Items THAT CAN KILL YOU
The world is a violent and dangerous place. Your life is in danger anytime you venture out into it. Highly contagious diseases, mass shootings, crazy traffic. Most of us experience a huge sense of relief upon arriving home at the end of the day. But that’s a false sense of security; your home is a…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Immediate action needed immediately!
What are you doing right now? Well, stop it! This an emergency! All hands on deck! This is not a drill!! Seriously, what are you…
DOJ had questions about Top Secret document transportation and storage
Part of the heavily-redacted affidavit pertaining to the recent search of former President Donald Trump’s home in Mar-a-Lago indicates that the Department of Justice (DOJ)…
Pete Davidson Buys Tampa News Force
Pete Davidson of SNL fame has announced plans to purchase the majority ownership of THIS PUBLICATION! [Tampa News Force] “I’ve been trying to find new things to get my mind off of the crazy stuff happening to me right now,” said Davidson during a heavy weed smoking session with current TNF owner, OJ Simpson “I…
Sports
Bucs excited to try out new protective headgear
When the Tampa Bay Buccaneers kick off the 2022 season tonight in Dallas against the Cowboys, they’ll be sporting new helmets, designed by the Nintendo…
ESPN officially makes White People Running Around In The Yard a sport
As baseball continues to drag through the longest, least eventful part of its season, TV networks are desperate for alternatives to the only major league…
“Boys Night Out” for Brady saves Bucs season
With what has seemed like uncharacteristically erratic behavior from Buccaneers starting quarterback and all-time NFL great Tom Brady recently, widely speculated to stem from conflict within his relationship with his wife Gisele Bündchen, the team decided to intervene and arranged for a “boys night out” to lift Brady’s spirits and re-focus him on the 2022…
Arts and Entertainment
Top Five Secret Cruise Ship Amenities
Between the sight-seeing, the food, the pampering, the entertainment, the activities and so much more, there’s a lot to love about taking a cruise. But…
Ybor nightclub hires lavatory lector
“BUS”, a new night club recently opened in Ybor City is introducing a customer service feature they hope will help them stand out from their…
Where are they now: The Island Boys
Here at Tampa News Force, we like to keep tabs on our favorite celebs in a feature we call, “Where are they now: (Insert name here)”. In this week’s edition, we’re checking in with those lovable scamps, The Island Boys! What are they doing? What have they been up to since the last time we…
Government
The State of Florida Guide on how to get rid of unwanted migrants
(Reposted as a public service on behalf of the Florida State Government as interpreted by Governor Ron DeSantis who is totally not a tyrant.) Do…
“Don’t say incest” bill passes in Florida
The Family Togetherness Act, also known as the “don’t say incest” bill has passed in Florida congress with a vote of 4-3, making it illegal…
Ron DeSantis sucks d**k to prove he’s not gay
Governor Ron Desantis has made headlines again after publicly giving a blow job to a man during his last press conference to, “prove once and for all, that I’m not gay.” After relentless cyber-bullying, accusing the Governor of being gay, DeSantis decided to take matters into his own hands by bringing a male sex-worker to…
Local and Community
Trans person not that mad about being misgendered
Trishelle Albeta, a female who was born male, was accidentally misgendered at a 7-11 attached to a Chinese restaurant in Riverview, but was not offended.…
St. Pete man’s correct usage of current slang annoys granddaughter
16-year-old Megyn Morton of St. Petersburg finds herself in an almost constant state of aggravation because of her grandfather Henry “Hank” Morton’s accurate usage of…
Effort underway to preserve historic Jeter House
Upon news breaking that the new owner of the former Davis Island home of Derek Jeter has filed a commercial demolition permit with the intent of tearing it down, local activists have launched an initiative designed to preserve the property as is. “When you think about who has lived here, the cultural and historic significance…
The world is a violent and dangerous place. Your life is in danger anytime you venture out into it. Highly contagious diseases, mass shootings, crazy traffic. Most of us experience a huge sense of relief upon arriving home at the end of the day. But that’s a false sense of security; your home is a…
Here at Tampa News Force, we like to keep tabs on our favorite celebs in a feature we call, “Where are they now: (Insert name here)”. In this week’s edition, we’re checking in with those lovable scamps, The Island Boys! What are they doing? What have they been up to since the last time we…
A new concept restaurant with a shooting range hopes to engage the next generation of second amendment rights activist. “We want to be the Chuck E Cheese of guns,” said Barbie Bellie, founder of Pistol Planet. “In our restaurant we want children to hold a gun in one hand and a slice of pizza in…
Governor Ron Desantis has made headlines again after publicly giving a blow job to a man during his last press conference to, “prove once and for all, that I’m not gay.” After relentless cyber-bullying, accusing the Governor of being gay, DeSantis decided to take matters into his own hands by bringing a male sex-worker to…
Upon news breaking that the new owner of the former Davis Island home of Derek Jeter has filed a commercial demolition permit with the intent of tearing it down, local activists have launched an initiative designed to preserve the property as is. “When you think about who has lived here, the cultural and historic significance…
Tampa’s public transit system is getting a facelift thanks to a set of new park and ride stations. “We want to make it easier for Tampanians to ride the bus,” said Reily Huarto, HART’s Customer Relations Ambassador. “These stations will let customers crash their car right into the bus stop shelter and hop on the…
Trishelle Albeta, a female who was born male, was accidentally misgendered at a 7-11 attached to a Chinese restaurant in Riverview, but was not offended. “I get it, I look kind of like a man still, I’m not that great at make up yet.” Said Albeta, while peeling a banana and taking a large bite…
(Reposted as a public service on behalf of the Florida State Government as interpreted by Governor Ron DeSantis who is totally not a tyrant.) Do you have a problem with migrants infesting your neighborhood, raping and murdering you? Of course you do. Don’t bother looking out the window to see for yourself; take our word…
The Family Togetherness Act, also known as the “don’t say incest” bill has passed in Florida congress with a vote of 4-3, making it illegal for teachers to mention incest in any government school building. The bill which highlights issues of families struggling with incestual relationships between parents who were born brother and sister who…
A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…