Tampa Named America’s Most Challenging Skate Park
Coming as something of a surprise to everyone, Classy Thrashy magazine has named the City of Tampa as the most challenging skate park in America.
“Skate Park of Tampa? Nice! Well-deserved,” said local skater boy Onsom Sweemey.
No. Not Skate Park of Tampa. The City of Tampa itself.
“Oh,” said Sweemey. “That’s weird.”
“The best skate parks are recreational environments made for skateboarding, BMX, scootering and aggressive inline skating and may contain half-pipes, handrails, funboxes, very ramps, stairs, quarter pipes, ledges, spine transfers, pyramids, banked ramps, full pipes, pools, bowls, snake runs, and any number of other objects for the sake of challenging skaters,” the magazine article states. “It would appear that Tampa was designed with the idea of making it tough for EVERYBODY who wants to get around with busted sidewalks, high curbs, construction projects in various stages of incomplete, piles of overflowing bags of garbage and human beings lying around, as well as various other hazards. This attitude of ‘we dare you to try to get from point A to point B without jacking yourself up’ is what elevates Tampa to the top of our list.”
“Yeah, Tampa is gnarly. I face planted because I didn’t bail when I accidentally found myself in an acid drop. I wasn’t wearing a brain bucket because it wasn’t my intent to pull a burly,” said recent visitor Rey McSriff. “And I’m not a skater; I’m a lawyer and I was just walking a couple blocks from my hotel to Eddie and Sam’s for some pizza.”
