Cell Phone Industry Acknowledges that They’re Behind Schedule in Responding to Junk Text Complaints

This morning, all the major cell phone carriers united to announce that there is a backlog of complaints about spam messages that have yet to be addressed.

“That’s because it’s just me,” said Jeromy Gride from the confines of his cramped downtown office. “I work for every carrier and I’m the whole department. Just me, alone.”

“When you get an unsolicited text from some realtor douchebag offering to buy your home or somebody pretending to be someone you know for the sake of some con job and you hit that ‘delete and report junk’ button, it comes to me and nobody else,” he said. “Then I have to investigate it, determine the levels of malice behind it from the texter and inconvenience incurred by the recipient, make a recommendation about appropriate punishment and damages that should be awarded before a decision is rendered.”

“It’s a lot,” he added.

“The good news is I’m slowly but surely making some steady progress,” he said. “Meaning I’m almost up to 2011.”