Tampa Woman’s Parents Disappointed Yet Again

Kaitlyn Cork’s parents Bob and Dorothy find themselves unhappy with Trent Jink, her current boyfriend, the latest in what they see as a seemingly never-ending line of losers.

“I don’t understand it and honestly don’t know why we even care at this point,” said Bob, sighing. “Kaitlyn is so smart and pretty. But she just keeps making one bad choice after another.”

To an extent, Kaitlyn herself agrees.

“I have a natural attraction to men who work in the entertainment industry. I think it’s so glamorous and exciting,” she said. “I wish they would just accept that and get over it.”

“Honey, Trent is a professional trampoline basketball dunker,” said Dorothy. “He’s a Globetrotter who can’t dribble.”

“He’s an artist! You don’t understand how hard it is to dunk a basketball from a trampoline,” Kaitlyn replied, crying.

“We’re not saying it’s not hard; I’m sure it is,” said Bob. “We’re saying it’s stupid and not a real job.”

Trent is actually booked frequently during the months between October and May, with basketball halftime shows, middle school anti-drug rallies and the occasional corporate hospitality event. During the four-month period comprising his ‘down season’, he drives for various rideshare providers and works on developing new trampoline basketball dunking tricks.

“Her last boyfriend – I think his name was Doug – made balloon animals,” recalled Dorothy. “At least that was steady, rear-round work.”

“Fuck. I miss Doug, the balloon animal guy,” agreed Bob.

“I bet they wouldn’t feel this way if I was dating Diddy”, sobbed Kaitlyn from her bedroom upstairs.