Certain Segment of Voters Troubled by Biden Withdrawal

A group of Tampa Bay residents who you might have expected to be overjoyed about President Joe Biden ending his bid to be re-elected President of the United States and endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris to be the Democratic Party nominee are having some seemingly surprising reactions.

I’ve been saying for months that Biden should drop out but I didn’t think anybody ever listened to me,” said Martin Freedump of Tampa. “Have I always had this power?”

“Now we conservatives are the only ones saddled with an unhinged old guy who can’t express himself coherently and probably pisses his pants and that just doesn’t seem fair,” said Betty Wolfwhistle of St. Petersburg.

“We already had a colored president. My grandfather didn’t go through that ordeal once; I shouldn’t have to do it twice,” said Larry Hooverflint of Clearwater

“The whole plan was to go after Biden because he’s so unfit. What are we supposed to do now?,” queried Mary Snatchwaifer of Brandon. “Thanks a lot, Biden.”

“This Harris gal checks a lot of boxes that I don’t like,” said George Matlock of Temple Terrace. “I’m not going to say what those boxes are because I’m not so old that somebody wouldn’t want to beat the shit out of me for saying something racist, sexist or both.”

“She (Harris) is going to say things like, ‘ooh child’ and ‘shoooot’ and I’m going to feel left out because I’m not allowed to say stuff like that,” said Beth Wineglass of Tampa.

“I’m actually happy about it; I have a thing for Maya Rudolph and we should be seeing a lot more of her on Saturday Night Live now,” said Mike Zoontz of Plant City.