Tampa Woman Excited to Get This Year’s Sandbags

Tiffany Splitz of Tampa is pleased to have picked up her supply of this year’s designer sandbags at the chic St’orm Survivours boutique at International Mall yesterday.

“I didn’t get them in time for the Debby tropical storm so my home suffered significant flood damage,” she said. “But that’s okay, they just came out. Nobody else had them yet! Besides, they’re so cute, it’s absolutely worth it.”

“Sure, I have sandbags from last year I could have used, but hello: last year,” she added.

Her excitement about the new sandbags was palpable.

“These are kiff, lit, zooly, sick and fire! They’re Gucci and hand-crafted from the finest imported Italian burlap and filled with sand from the Côte d’Azur,” she said. “Of course I had to get some new boots to match but again, totally worth it.”

In spite of the perceived value of her new purchases being justified, she said she’s optimistic about the weather forecast for the remainder her tropical storm season.

“I really hope I haven’t missed the storm of the season but all the experts say things are going to get worse”, she said. “And that means that things will get better.”