2001 Spaceship Forecast to be Launched into Orbit

As details begin to come more into focus prior to the imminent arrival of Hurricane Milton, there are still some questions that remain unanswered.

“Not about that spaceship at the 2001 strip club, though,” said National Weather Service spokesperson Stephanie Hailsturm. “That thing is definitely going to take flight. No question.”

As such, 2001 management is making VIP admission packages, which normally costs about $200, available for $3000.

“That includes admission into the famous former Futuro House, snacks and a bottle of champagne,” said club manager Phil Zortz. “And of course we’re gonna throw some of Florida’s best adult entertainers in there. Should be a unique experience!”

Hailsturm does not necessarily agree with that assessment.

“It’s not actually a functional spacecraft; it can’t be steered. It’s going to spin like a Frisbee,” she said. “If being tumbled with a bunch of other lonely guys, some corn chips, cheap champagne and a couple of strippers like you’re in a high-speed clothes dryer before eventually crash-landing miles away is your idea of fun, go for it I guess.”

“That’s actually exactly my idea of fun and something I’ve fantasized about for years,” said club patron Floyd Applebaum, reaching for his credit card.