Neo-Nazis Helping Hurricane Relief Efforts

Reports have emerged of white supremacy groups mobilizing to assist victims of Hurricane Milton. 

“Sure, we could just be a regular civic  volunteer organization and leave all the bigotry and hatred out of it but the fact of the matter is that we recognize that like it or not, we’re all in this together,” said Jasper Higgins, president of Racists to the Rescue, one such group in Brandon. “It’s important to us that people know we really don’t like it.”

“Hoo boy, this one is a real head-scratcher”, said Saul Hernandez of Tampa. “As a Black Hispanic Gay Jew, I never want to interact with anybody who sees me as inferior on any level. On the other hand, these guys with swastika tattoos on their necks were the first people to show up and help get a fallen tree off my house.”

“To say I’m conflicted is an understatement,” he said. “I think I need to go lie down.”

“I can relate, which is not something I would ever normally say,” said volunteer Rich Swanker. “Under normal circumstances, I would be actively involved in trying to erase that guy’s existence from the earth. At the same time, I have a big truck with a winch on it and a chainsaw, so I can at least erase that tree from his roof, which makes me feel weird.”

“I think I’d also like to lie down for a little bit,” he added.