Addition of Suffix Expected to Enhance Annual Sale

Dave’s Desks, an office furniture store off of Highway 60 near Brandon, is adding a branding element to this year’s four-day summer sales event that takes place this weekend; the partial slang term “palooza”.

“Watch out, we’re taking it to the next level”, said owner and general sales manager Dave Deskson, whose bright idea this was. “It’s Dave’s Desk’s Summer Sales Palooza!”

“Yeah, we have a sale in August every year, the logic being that if people are ever going to buy a desk, it’s going to be just before the school year starts. We start planning for this in April but business stays about the same: slow. Slower every year, it seems like,” said salesman Roy Jim. “Not a lot of people out here buying just desks. I’ve suggested we start selling chairs too, but nobody listens to me.”

“Apparently this year, Dave learned about the existence of the Lollapalooza music festival and decided to co-opt that to make the sale seem like a bigger deal than it is,” said salesman Kevin Oscar. “Whoopee.”

“Yeah, he tweaks it every couple of years,” said Stanley Dwight, another salesman. “It’s been a ‘fest’ and a ‘gala’. One time in the late 90s it was a ‘jam’.”

“Dear God, I’ve worked here since the 90s,” he added.

Asked what special deals will be available, Deskson said, “hey, who knows? It’s a palooza! It could get pretty wild ‘up in here’. I don’t know what’s going to happen!”

He shook his head sadly, stared at the floor and muttered, “I don’t know what’s going to happen.”