Angry Ballerina Beats Up Fringe Artist

Mindy Blankenhurst, a dancer with Tampa City Ballet, was arrested last night and charged with assault and battery against Keith Dindriani, a 2024 Tampa Fringe Festival performer from Aukland, New Zealand, still in town for the sake of this article.

“I was at Gaspar’s in Ybor. I saw her and she seemed nice so I introduced myself and she just went off on me,” said a severely bruised and battered Dindriani. “I still don’t know why.”

Witnesses said the exchange went like this:
DINDRIANI: Hi. I’m Keith.
BLANKENHURST: Nice to meet you. I’m Mindy.
DINDRIANI: I’m in town to perform my family-friendly magic show at the Fringe.
BLANKENHURST: Oh, so you’re one of those sick perverts that cost us our arts funding!
(Followed by delivering what was described as a spinning scissor kick to Dindriani’s face and then an MMA-style ground-and-pound attack as he lay prostate on the floor, trying in vain to protect himself from the onslaught of fists, knees and elbows)

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis recently vetoed $32 million in arts and culture grants when he signed Florida’s $116.5 billion budget citing overtly sexual “fringe festivals” as the main reason for the veto and something he does not want taxpayer money going toward. That decision wiped out grants for around 600 arts and cultural programs and 33 theatres, museums, and other cultural attractions around the state.

Blankenhurst is currently free on bond and pending trial due to the court deciding that while the offense was heinous, unprovoked and savage, Dindriani does some juggling as part of his act, so it was not entirely unjustified.

Reached for comment, she said, “Everybody knows one thing you don’t do is fuck with a ballerina’s money.”