Biden Yeets Presidential Campaign 

President Joe Biden says he is not seeking reelection in a letter posted to his official account in X, aka Busted Ass Twitter. Biden says he will speak to the nation later this week in more detail.

“It has been the greatest honor of my life to serve as your President,” Biden wrote. “And while it has been my intention to seek reelection, I believe it is in the best interest of my party and the country for me to stand down and to focus solely on fulfilling my duties as President for the remainder of my term.”

“Y’all wanted me out, f*ck y’all, I’m out,” he didn’t write. “Peace, bitches.”

Reached for comment, Vice President and now likely Democratic Party nominee Kamala Harris said, “oh shiiiiii…”

Reached for comment, Republican Party nominee Donald Trump said, “oh shiiiiii…”