Businessmen in St. Pete spotted running

A group of lawyers or bankers or something was spotted running through the downtown area of St. Petersburg yesterday, apparently for no reason other than for the fun of it.

“It was so weird. They were all waiting to cross Central Avenue”, said Elizabeth Queeters who was driving by and witnessed the incident. “They all kind of exchanged a look, grinned and just took off. Like a bunch of kids.”

“That’s exactly what it looked like,” said a visibly troubled Hank Mesters. “Except they weren’t children; these were grown men wearing suits and ties. What the hell was that all about?”

In response to inquiries as to whether there was some sort of ‘fun run’ scheduled for yesterday, city officials issued an official denial:

“There were no sanctioned physical activities authorized by the City of St. Petersburg and we do not condone any spontaneous outbursts like what reportedly occurred yesterday and those who commit such acts may face criminal charges under a law that we will make if it happens again.”

– City of St. Petersburg Rules Department

Ben Swanson, one of the runners, said, “I don’t know, we didn’t even know each other but we all just looked at each other and kind of had the same idea at the same time, like, ‘let’s race’. Remember when you were little and you would do that but then you grow up and for some reason you just… stop. And nobody knows why.”

“This is why,” said another of the runners, Cliff Hibbard, gesturing to a hamstring he pulled.