Dad Bar is Ybor’s Hottest New Nightspot

A new themed nightclub has been wildly popular since opening on 7th Avenue in Ybor City a week ago.

“Due in large part to the popularity of Minnesota Governor and vice presidential nominee Tim Walz, boomers are suddenly kind of cool, or at least not quite as not cool,” said club owner and general manager Rafael Fitz. “So welcome to Dad Bar!”

“There’s a DJ, a dance floor, a pool table and one 32” tv with slightly out-of-balance color,” he said. “The cover charge is $25 but men over 40 get in free if they agree to talk about sports and lawn maintenance, complain about the tv, tell off-color jokes and intimidate young douchebags that are there to harass women.”

“It’s my favorite place,” said regular customer 23-year-old Megan Von Rachel. “It’s so nice to be able to hang out and not have to fight off random guys who just want to hook up. Plus, none of the dads there are my actual dad so if I do decide I want to hook up with some random guy, I don’t have to worry about him being disappointed in me.”

Most nights, there’s a line to get in but patrons like 51-year-old Bob Klumph of Tampa walk right past it and are treated like VIPs.

“You think I have time to waste, standing in a line? Not a good idea,” he said. “Not with an enlarged prostate like mine. Haw haw!”

“That’s just a joke. But my wife keeps saying I should probably have it looked at,” he added.