Hottest Trend in Gourmet Cuisine Rooted in Tampa Heights

When picky gourmands think of the origin sites of their favorite culinary delights, Tampa Heights is probably not the first place they think of, but that could be changing!

”The latest thing in foodie culture is Found Produce,” squealed local gastronome Suzy Mandlequartz delightedly.

After a report from the Tampa Bay Times revealed that Ko, a high-end Japanese restaurant on Palm Avenue was using foxtail ferns from a plant bed outside the Pearl apartment complex, a spot where local dogs frequently relieve themselves, to garnish diners plates, the practice has surprisingly caught on with other nearby restaurants.

”When I first heard that, I was disgusted,” said Rick Lunk, the owner of the soon-to-open Rick’s But Not On The River, a nearby upscale restaurant that promises unique epicurean experiences. “But then I looked out the window and realized we have plants outside too, and dogs shit and piss there all the time! And also cats, squirrels, possums, raccoons and owls too. Why waste money on parsley or lettuce when I have a garnish garden right outside my back door?”

”I expect this to catch on in a big way,” he added.

”Gosh, I sure hope so,” squealed Mandlequartz, licking her lips lasciviously.

When asked if the savings resulting from the use of ‘Found Produce’ would be passed along to diners, he replied, “Ha ha! No.”