Politically Conflicted Woman in Brandon Proposes Cultural Exchange Program

Susan Moonsworth, who owns and operates a daycare facility in Brandon, and isn’t sure how she feels about immigration, wants government assistance in funding a cultural exchange program.

“I’d like to take my students to Mexico for ten days to experience firsthand the culture and customs of a foreign land,” she said. “This will give them perspective and a better understanding of the world and ultimately result in them growing up with a greater appreciation for their lives here in America. I’d call it ‘Friends Without Borders’.”

“As part of the program, each kid will bring back a new friend, an undocumented laborer who will spread disease, take our jobs, get on welfare and ultimately rape and kill us all,” she added.

“That sounds like a terrific idea,” said Ronald Finchlet, an official with the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Department. “Except for that last part.”

“What? I didn’t say anything about rape and murder and destroying America,” said Moonsworth.

“Yes you did,” replied Finchlet. “I’m afraid that’s going to have to be a no.”

“Shit,” responded Moonsworth. “Oh well. Probably for the best.”