Rays Fan Bluff Called

Tampa’s Randy Domingo, a self-described Tampa Bay Rays fan, almost never attends games for a number of reasons, primarily that the games are played all the way over in St. Petersburg and that indoor baseball is an abomination, finds himself at a loss for excuses now that the team has announced plans to play their 2025 home schedule at George M. Steinbrenner Field in Tampa.

“That’s like 15 minutes from my housea,” he exclaimed upon finding out. “Fuck.”

The team announced Thursday that the 11k seat home of the New York Yankees spring training games and their Class-A minor league affiliate the Tampa Tarpons regular season was selected as the best available option in the wake of damage from Hurricane Milton that rendered Tropicana Field unusable.

”Did they even try to see if games could be played at Amalie Arena or the Yuengling Center? Neither of those places are suitable for baseball and they’re both a little farther away from my house, but still”, he said. “The Savannah Bananas are playing a game at Raymond James Stadium and that isn’t suitable for baseball either, although it is outdoors which is gross, err, I mean, which is the way baseball is intended to be played.”

“I mean, yay, great. It’s a dream come true,” said Domingo glumly, before brightening up and asking, “But won’t there be rain delays and postponements due to playing outdoors?”

Yes, there will. Over the last 10 seasons, the Tarpons have averaged 6.4 postponements annually. And on occasions when it isn’t raining, it will be very hot because it’s outdoors in Florida. It will also be hot when it is raining because of that same reason.

Fresh out of reasons not to attend games without looking like a total hypocrite, Domingo sighed and said, “I guess I’m going to some Rays games this year.”

“Fuck,” he added.