Second series of Trump Trading Cards released to collectors

The second series of Trump Trading Cards has hit the market and collectors initial reaction to it is underwhelming.

“There’s no stars in the whole set”, said avid card collector and memorabilia dealer Robert Reuben of Tampa. “They got the goons but where’s the buffoon? I guess the Giuliani rookie might be worth… something. Like for people who are nostalgic for 9/11 maybe.”

“I don’t know who that would be, though,” he added.

The initial wave of Trump cards came out in late 2022 and sold out right away at $99 each. Their value as non-fungible tokens plummeted to a low of $1.04 a piece in April. However, after the former President’s online interview with Tucker Carlson last night, reports indicate the value has increased to more than double the original price. This news hastened the release of the new series of cards.

“Yeah, other than a name or two, I don’t know who most of these people are. It’s all dedicated to co-stars and underlings, sort of a rogues gallery,” he said. “It’s like if DC Comics devoted a comic book exclusively to highlighting Batman villains. Imagine the Joker getting his own movie! Ha ha ha! Oh wait…”

He went on to mention some other complaints he has with the set. “Another problem is they’re not good-looking cards. No action shots or whimsical costumes like before, just straight-facing portraits, like they were all taken at the same place at the same time. Boring.”

“Also, they’re bigger than regular cards. I don’t know why. They make it look like I, a normal-sized human man, have really, really tiny hands.”

His major disappointment stems back to the absence of Trump himself, which in his opinion, devalues the entire series. Although he believes it can be salvaged.

“If there’s one thing the Trump people know, it’s marketing. Maybe they’re just waiting to make a big deal of putting his actual cards out there. I have a feeling something big is going to happen very soon.”